Categories: SciFi
–
This is a bit wordy and lacks a clear cause and effect relationship.
"...a series of bizarre events..." is too vague, what one event spurs him or her to take action?
How will the MC being a self-sabotaging math genius help or hinder their efforts? In other words, what is the main character's flaw?
More importantly, as this is a series, the premise engine isn't clear. Good series loglines need a premise that will reliably generate new scenarios for each episode. There's something there with the simulation thing (reminiscent of the Matrix), but it's not clear enough how it will be interesting to see this story unfold episode after episode. Predominantly, this is as the logline fails to describe a flawed character that will clash with the world around them in their pursuit of an ambition.
INTENTION: A maths genius must destroy the bugs from inside an alternate reality simulator.
OBSTACLE: that he's self-sabotaging? that the misfit/nerds don't get along? It seems like there's a whole ton of obstacles - but I'm not sure what to go with?
When a state of the art virtual world crashes, a maths genius must destroy the bugs from inside an alternate reality simulator.?
- I dropped the ?oddball assortment of nerds? and the part about entering the world.?
- I really hope the conflict/obstacle is innate here. I mean - it seems like hard work to destroy bugs from inside an alternative reality simulator.?
My advice would be to up the conflict/stakes.
Perhaps the nerds could be inexperienced (like Armageddon?).
Perhaps if they don't do it properly - they get trapped in there (I think that's like Wreck it Ralph, right?).
Regardless - Richiev's logline is probably the cleanest one here.
Good luck!
"When a state of the art virtual world crashes, a self-sabotaging computer genius and an oddball assortment of nerds are tasked with entering into the world and destroying the bugs from inside the alternate reality simulator."
Learning that he is just code and the reality he lives in is ?a computer similuation, a mathematican and four others are enlisted by the system to fix bugs before it crashes end eveything.
This is the story in a nutshell am I correct? ?Sort of like the Matrix from Hugo Weaving's POV.
Other Options for hero adjectives:
??After a series of bizarre events erupt across the globe, a drug addicted mathematician is visited by some other worldly guests and is forced, along with a team of societal misfits, to help them maintain their bug ridden simulation, namely, life as we know it".
??After a series of bizarre events erupt across the globe, a disgraced mathematician is visited by some other worldly guests and is forced, along with a team of societal misfits, to help them maintain their bug ridden simulation, namely, life as we know it".
Second Attempt:
??After a series of bizarre events erupt across the globe, a famously reclusive mathematician is visited by some other worldly guests and is forced, along with a team of societal misfits, to help them maintain their bug ridden simulation, namely, life as we know it".
