After her inability to cope with her husband’s death imbues her with the power to kill with a touch, an unassuming farmer must stop a trio of fundamentalists intent on recruiting her as the fourth “horseperson” of the apocalypse before they can implement their plan to end life on Earth.

I think you're right, particularly with your suggested revised first half. I'll re-post.

Something doesn't quite read right in the first line. Feel like their are too many words that confuse it, perhaps remove 'her inability to cope' and simply put 'struggling'. Although I still think that there is a way that it can be cut more and tightened. The second half is the more interesting piece of the story so think we need to get to it quicker. Could it not open with, 'When a grieving woman discovers she can kill with a single touch........' and then go straight into the point of being on the run from the horsemen wanting to recruit her?

Its an interesting idea and certainly original.