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4 reviews
Thanks for all the great responses!
Sounds good, Its very close to "Raising Arizona" with bullet wounds and possibly could be a serious drama or potential dark comedy. Maybe try and boil it down just a wee bit "At the end of his parole a ex-cons plans are derailed by his convict buddies, one with a bullet wound the other with plans to rob a local bank.'' this is merely one amateur opinion of course.
I think this is good - a lot of potential. Maybe you could get more specific than 'arrival'. What does this mean exactly? They come for a visit? To move in with him? This logline is still general enough that the story could go either direction - adventure/thriller - or even potentially comedy? Two prison buddies come to crash on his couch and won't leave as your ex-con tries to get his new business off the ground - a bakery. Get what I mean? I'm not trying to suggest that's what you should do, just to try to hone it and get more specific. But good job!
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