On the run after robbing a bank during the great depression, two brothers find themselves trapped in the harsh region known as the Dust Bowl where a ruthless killer hunts them down.

Why is the killer hunting them down? For the money or did they do something that warrant this? They are two and he/she is one, in a vast region. Surely, they can kill him. Can he be their estranged father? Or a beautiful female alien who can only survive if she consumes a certain kind of metal only found on our planet? (like money) Just wondering. If I sat down in a movie like this what would I like to see? An unexpected turn would make it less predictable.

The ruthless killer makes for a great antagonist but his linkage with the bank robbing brothers is left tenuous. How does the killer know about the brothers and what is his movtive for hunting them? Simple desire for the loot does come to mind, though this is a mediocre motive. Better would be a motive along the lines of him recovering the money for someone else. Whether it be on behalf of the bank, or on behalf of some wealthy landowner. (This makes the killer look like a professional, which makes him appear even more chiling.)

It would also help that we are told something redeeming about the two brothers. For example, that their home was repossessed, or that they were thoroughly swindled. (Swindled by the landowner would be particularly good here.) Being hunted by a ruthless killer provides some audience empathy potential, but being compelled to rob a bank out of dire necessity provides so much more.

As it stands, the logline is acceptable at a basic level. But it would sell the script more effectively if the two aspects already mentioned were addressed.

Steven Fernandez (Judge).

As I said, the Dust Bowl was a vast area of the US, so named by a journalist, because not only did the people have to deal with the Depression, but there was a huge, prolonged draught, during which high winds whipped up huge sand storms because the soil was degraded due to human activity. Before this, the area was named the Bread Basket of America. So there was no interesting scenery, except what you see in parts of the Australian Ourback during big draughts. Be that as it may, I still don't see a story line, although Bec's suggestion takes it a bit in that direction. Who were these brothers and what was the inciting incident that turned them towards bank robbery? Were they bank robbers by trade, or did something happened that made them desperate to do it? I mean we are talking about the Depression when Banks closed and went under, etc. Keep thinking. Do your research too. Have fun.