They were enemies on the cricket grounds before war breaks out but now they face a common enemy in Malaya. They have to defend a bridge that would prevent the Japanese army reaching Singapore. An impossible task that creates the first heroes and martyrs of the Pacific War.

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THE LAST BRIDGE IN MALAYA

11 reviews

Julien Perrottet · Penpusher · 80 pts

Anwardi, nice work. Let's break this down from 48 words to 30ish. We need The Big Three – the hero, goal, and problem of your story and genre.

Two rivals on the cricket field are conscripted to fight in the Pacific War where they must defend a bridge to prevent the Japanese army from reaching Singapore.

I'm not saying this is the one to use but it's the same as yours just in 28 words and it doesn't give away the ending. The stakes are good and the genre is clear. It's just my quick thoughts so keep working on it. I hope you get it made, I'll go watch it!

Former member · Legend · 114,968 pts

I think it's an interesting premise, but the logline is too long. How about:

'Two cricket foes, one Australian, one Indian, face a common enemy in Malaya during WWII, when they must defend a bridge against the Japanese army reaching Singapore.'

Former member · Legend · 114,968 pts

When at the start of the Pacific offensive of World War II Japan launches their ground troop invasion of Singapore, former fierce cricket rivals must rally together and make a stand against superior forces to hold the last bridge to Singapore.