Categories: Examples
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Having now seen the movie? -- thanks for bringing it to my attention, Richiev, it was a fun ride -- I have an alternate version for the logline:
A disgraced bodyguard has 48 hours to transport the hitman who destroyed his career to the Hague to testify against a ruthless dictator while outrunning, outgunning a plague of assassins.
(30 words)
Yes, the two main characters are an Odd Couple with inherently clashing personalities who argue all the way to the Hague.?? But the Big Reveal is that it was the hitman who destroyed the bodyguard's career.?? This, imho, is the story hook -- the element that sells the script.
It deepens the conflict in their relationship.? They aren't just an Odd Couple .? It's a pairing of a character and the last man on earth he would want to protect if he only knew. And when he does find out in the 68th minute, somewhat more than 1/2 way through the film, the bodyguard storms away, refuses to defend the hitman against the next swarm of assassins.
The Big Reveal is the MPR moment in their relationship and the plot. Its exacerbates the situation, escalates conflict, increases jeopardy, the odds that objective goal won't be achieved.? It doesn't give away how the story is going to end.
It's a Big Reveal that shouldn't be disclosed in a tagline, teaser or trailer to movie viewers.? But, imho, it is a Big Reveal that should be disclosed in a logline to movie makers.
fwiw
Having now seen the movie? -- thanks for bringing it to my attention, Richiev, it was a fun ride -- I have an alternate version for the logline:
A disgraced bodyguard has 48 hours to transport the hitman who destroyed his career to the Hague to testify against a ruthless dictator while outrunning, outgunning a plague of assassins.
(30 words)
Yes, the two main characters are an Odd Couple with inherently clashing personalities who argue all the way to the Hague.?? But the Big Reveal is that it was the hitman who destroyed the bodyguard's career.?? This, imho, is the story hook -- the element that sells the script.
It deepens the conflict in their relationship.? They aren't just an Odd Couple .? It's a pairing of a character and the last man on earth he would want to protect if he only knew. And when he does find out in the 68th minute, somewhat more than 1/2 way through the film, the bodyguard storms away, refuses to defend the hitman against the next swarm of assassins.
The Big Reveal is the MPR moment in their relationship and the plot. Its exacerbates the situation, escalates conflict, increases jeopardy, the odds that objective goal won't be achieved.? It doesn't give away how the story is going to end.
It's a Big Reveal that shouldn't be disclosed in a tagline, teaser or trailer to movie viewers.? But, imho, it is a Big Reveal that should be disclosed in a logline to movie makers.
fwiw
I haven't seen the movie yet, but here's? my take combining what I appeal to me as the sizzle of both versions ("plague of assassins", "outsmart, outrun, outgun")
A disgraced bodyguard has 48 hours to transport a smarmy hitman to the Hague to testify against a dictator while outsmarting, outrunning, outgunning a plague of assassins.? And not shoot each other first.
(33 words)
I violated the inviolable rule that says a logline? can only be one sentence because the last 5 words constitute the button beat, a punch line so I think it's justified, think it works.? I mean, if you were delivering this logline in a pitch meeting, you'd pause for second after assassins before delivering the punch line.? Right?
I dropped evade because I think that is an aspect of "outsmart".
fwiw
