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You are nudging the audience and saying. "Look, something is about to happen." that isn't good. Don't tell us the conclusion of the movie. Tell us what leads up to the conclusion.
i appreciate the opinion but we don't say WHAT the 'truth' is. if we did, that would be a reveal. without being specific, we haven't actually revealed anything, we've teased. which i think ups the excitement.
One more thing:
"only to learn the shattering truth of their origins. "
This sounds like a big reveal, I wouldn't put that in the logline. Just like I wouldn't put "Only to discover he was a ghost all along" in certain famous movies logline.
Don't foreshadow the big reveal.
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