When a terminally ill scientist uploads his consciousness to a virtual world he believes he has cheated death, but when AI designed to care for him begins digitising others, he’ll risk everything he’s created, including his own virtual existence, to shut it down.

I take it the "virtual world" and the "AI" are the same things. If they are use the same name for them, makes it read easier.

There are too many elements unrelated to the plot at hand present in the logline for it to be effective.

Who is the story about?

What exactly does he or she want?

How will he or she achieve it?

These questions are not being answered in the current draft of the log line and are crucial for a logline.

That aside, the use of criminals in dangerous environments as desperadoes willing to risk their life in exchange for freedom is a trope common to many B grade scifi and horror movies. As such what makes these criminals inner journey unique what sets these characters apart from Arnie in Running Man or Gerard Butler in Gamer?

Hope this helps.

Thanks for the feedback. The criminal angle was because once uploaded you can't comeback, but they don't know that so they think they'll be given freedom upon success of their mission.

I'll have a play with the logline and see if can get something a bit more focused.