When a successful entomologist and his father, an army reserve, are humiliated by the public because of a new insect display that goes wrong, he must gain respect back for his family while saving his captive father from the greedy military, and uncover the secrets behind the mysterious weaponized insect before humans become the endangered species.

You kinda bury the lead... at the end of the logline we find out the very survival of the human race is at stake... that is far more important than a little bit of humiliation.

You might want to lead with that.

Hi Awesomemovies123,

A lot to take in. I’ll give this a go.

When a successful entomologist and his father, an army reserve, are humiliated by the public because of a new insect display that goes wrong, he must gain respect back for his family while saving his captive father from the greedy military, and uncover the secrets behind the mysterious weaponised insect before humans become the endangered species.

Intention: gain back respect from his family while saving his captive father from the military, and uncover the secrets behind the mysterious weaponised insect before humans become the endangered species. (That’s a mouthful. I’d suggest to go with one strong, clear intention. Make sure it’s an action goal as opposed to emotional goal.)

Obstacle: ?

When looking for his missing father, an entomologist uncovers a secret government project, and must thwart it, before humans become the endangered species.

There may be an interesting story here, but unfortunately the logline conceals rather than reveals it.

First of all, the logline is too l-o-n-g. An ideal industry acceptable logline should be no longer than 30 words in length. This logline is 56 words long. It's DOA -- no moviemaker will bother to read it.

Second, a logline should lead with a story hook, the story element that will immediately grab attention, make someone want to read the script. Instead, this logline places the story hook -- "weaponized insect" -- at the end. It buries the most interesting story element under 50 words.

Fifty words that obfuscate the plot rather than clearly and concisely state the plot. By obfuscate I mean that the logline gives the protagonist 3 plot goals, "gain respect", "save his father", "uncover the secrets". A protagonist's motivations may be overdetermined, but a logline is a brief statement of the plot. And a plot is organized by *one* overarching objective goal, not two or three. Which one of those goals constitutes the organizing goal-- the spine-- of the plot?

In 30 words or less, what is the story about?