When a teenage hitchhiker under the protection of an obsessed tracker is kidnapped by the same pack of werewolves he is hunting, his only chance to resuce her requires him to suppress his hatred and form an alliance with a rival pack.

While I love a good werewolf story, I think this is a little too busy and wordy. I'd suggest pegging it back a bit to something closer to Lachlan Huddy's advice, though I'd clarify or reconsider the use of the word 'obsessed' as it's not clear that he's obsessed with hunting werewolves.

Personally, I'd turn it around a bit. ie, "A prejudiced tracker forms an alliance with a *insert appropriate description here* werewolf pack in order to save a girl kidnapped by *insert another appropriate description here* rival werewolves," or something along those lines.

Hope that helps.

Thanks for the comments. This log line has gone through a lot of iterations already, which is how I think it got so muddled. My original was actually more like the one you had, but after a couple dozen responses, I think I fell into the trap of trying to fix every little problem that was pointed out. I'll work on simplifying this one again.

Nitpicks out of the way first: I think "teenage" in this context should be "teenaged" - but not completely sure. "Recuse", obviously, needs to be "rescue". "Chance to rescue" would better-serve the line as "chance of rescuing", but that's personal preference.

The concept I like a lot, but the logline is muddled. It took me a few read-throughs to glean that the central character is the tracker and not the hitchkiker because of how the sentence is constructed. I'd lead with the tracker to clear that up and proceed from there. Simply calling the hitchhiker "his" would, I think, be enough to establish his responsibility for her. Then, do you absolutely need the reference to suppressing his hatred? I understand why it's there - to convey the hero's inner conflict - but for the sake of brevity it could go. What faster way could you demonstrate that the alliance causes conflict? I'd go with the tried and true "uneasy alliance". Something like, "When an obsessed tracker's teenaged hitchhiker is kidnapped by the same pack of werewolves he is hunting, his only chance of rescuing her is an uneasy alliance with a rival pack."

I'm sure there are less obvious phrases than "uneasy alliance" and I reckon you should look into those. Otherwise, strong concept and good luck with it.