When an attention seeking YouTube prankster is scammed by a car salesman he enlists the salesman’s captivating assistant to help seek compensation but her unorthodox methods and pranking involvement becomes creepy.
Categories: Thriller
Categories: Thriller
Thanks Nir,? I see what you mean!? Below is another draft.?? I could cut off the end about the "assistant", but she is a big part of the story (an ally shapeshifting to villain):
When an attention seeking YouTube prankster is scammed and left without a car to operate his business, he seeks compensation but deviates into darker territory of vengeful blackmail, robbery and murder when he is wooed by the scammer's sociopathic assistant.
Any tips / comments are greatly? appreciated.
The logline doesn't describe a clear goal for the protagonist, what does "...he ventures into a world vengeful trickery and unimagined violence?" mean? What will it look like?
Secondly I don't think the assistant has any relevance in the last draft of the logline. She is either one of the obstacles the main character will face or a strange ally, either way cut her out and clear up the goal description. I still fail to see the stakes in the concept, a prankster gets scammed is no biggi and him seeking revenge comes across as a negative goal so if he does;t achieve it also no biggi.
What will happen should he fail to successfully exact his revenge?
Thanks Karel, your suggestions really opened it up for me.? I've come up with several more ideas, but decided on this trimmed down version.? What do you think?:
When an attention seeking YouTube prankster is scammed by a car salesman and wooed by the sociopathic assistant, he ventures into a world vengeful trickery and unimagined violence.