When an orphan turned assassin in training disobeys killing her target, she is thrown into the lower ranks of the Assassin’s Guild, working as a servant, trying to work her way up only to discover her parents’ killer walking the hallways and finding a record that showed her village’s demise was paid-for, not random and now she must find out the reason why her village was a target, and more importantly, who was responsible for it.

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5 reviews

recluse · Logliner · 515 pts ★ Accepted

A trainee assassin disobeys killing her target and is demoted in the Assassin's Guild, but working her way up the ranks she discovers her parents? killer and a trail to uncover why her?village was targeted for destruction and who ordered it.

Neer Shelter · Singularity · 39,985 pts

Agreed with the above.
This is too long for a logline. Best you review the Training tab up top to understand what the critical components are of a logline.

Here is, in short, the key points:

Who is the main character? - clear MC description

What does he or she want? - a goal.

What is preventing them from getting what they want? - an obstacle.

Answer ONLY the above questions in a single sentence, and we will be able to help you construct a logline from that.

Knightrider · Mentor · 3,370 pts

Hi, it does seem a little long and clunky. Recluse has done a pretty good job and making it a tighter logline.