When inheriting his father’s car, Tom is exposed to all his secrets and while trying to re-establish with his ex-girlfriend, is forced to deal with the consequences of these revelations.

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4 reviews

RussellN · Samurai · 815 pts

Based on the comments above and what I read into your plot, how about:

After finding family secrets in his deceased father's car, a bachelor must resolve their horrific outcomes to win back his girl.

Not saying mine is good, just?suggesting it as an alternative to trigger lateral thinking.

Neer Shelter · Singularity · 39,985 pts

Agreed with the above, there is no need to name the character better to describe him instead.

also getting his father's car seems a little underwhelming as an inciting incident.
Could you specify one significant secret the MC finds out that would drive him to take action?

Lastly, the ex is more of a 'B' plot and can, therefore, be cut from the logline.

Foxtrot25 · Mentor · 8,420 pts

Like Richiev asks, we need some more to go with en able to help you flesh this out further.