When two wholesome brothers inherit a strip club they must not only overcome their own prejudices to see it succeed, but also defend it when the upright community decides to drive it out of business

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6 reviews

KW · Samurai · 530 pts

In that case, this works better:

"Two wholesome brothers invest everything into moving and managing their deceased uncle's hotel, only to discover it is really a strip club. They must not only overcome their own prejudices to see it succeed, but also defend it when the upright community strive to drive it out of business."

However, this really blows out my word count.

Richiev · Singularity · 58,825 pts

btw, I do think this is a good premise, I just think the logline needs that one extra thing mentioned above.

Neer Shelter · Singularity · 39,985 pts

Agreed with the above.

I suggest researching other films with a similar premise to see how the writer built the world around the character that made it a must do or die. For example: Kinky Boots, The Full Monty, Saving Grace, etc...