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2 reviews
It is yeah... Reads more like a DVD blurb. Rachel is definitely missing but without using name it's hard to sum her up as a generic love interest and there are enough central characters already, but without her the emotional stakes are missing. Important stuff.
thanks for the feedback :)
Tad long for a logline. Perhaps it'd work nicely as a blurb.
The last part 'whatever doesn't kill simply makes you stranger' seems a little chucked in and not entirely relevant for a logline, but would work as a tagline. It's also important that you mention what's at stake for Bats, his love interest Rachel.