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After living as a hermit for many years, Lyn rediscover the world through the delivery of a mysterious object. He wonders why he is pushing this huge box. When he needs to understand what pushes him.
Several technical errors: Your log line should never exceed one sentence unless the film plot is truly super complex. You should not include your main characters name, instead describe them. Your logline should follow a specific formula that encapsulates your plot. But furthermore, despite all thatRead more
Several technical errors: Your log line should never exceed one sentence unless the film plot is truly super complex. You should not include your main characters name, instead describe them. Your logline should follow a specific formula that encapsulates your plot.
But furthermore, despite all that your logline doesn’t really make any sense. The first sentence is an okay first half of a logline, you’ve set up the character and the instigating event. But then he wonders why he is pushing this huge box? What? Does pushing mean selling here? Or physically pushing it? And then he needs to understand what pushes him? I assume you mean, like, what is his driving force, or what does he live for, but that’s not communicated. Take out Lynn’s name and take out those second two sentences and instead fill the second half with the literal plot of your story.
For example, After living alone for many years, a hermit is delivered a mysterious object and embarks on a quest to discover who sent it to him. I’m guessing that’s not your plot, but you see what I mean? That’s an example of describing the main plot within your film.
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Very interesting. I forget if it was here or on Reddit, but someone pointed out that Man on Fire is a good film to study in terms of logline since it essentially has two plots. The first half is him training to be a body guard, the second half is him attempting the rescue mission. It's something I'vRead more
Very interesting. I forget if it was here or on Reddit, but someone pointed out that Man on Fire is a good film to study in terms of logline since it essentially has two plots. The first half is him training to be a body guard, the second half is him attempting the rescue mission. It’s something I’ve been chewing over since FLA (a logline I posted, but am having trouble really polishing) also has a similar structure. In this, the logline focuses exclusively on the second half, which while I would agree that is what Man on Fire is about, it’s an interesting approach to loglining. (Full Disclosuer: I’ve never seen Man on Fire)
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Very insightful. You're right, this parallels greatly with my current script about Roger Baldwin, and thinking in terms of the hook versus the plot could very well lead to more effective pitching.
Very insightful. You’re right, this parallels greatly with my current script about Roger Baldwin, and thinking in terms of the hook versus the plot could very well lead to more effective pitching.
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