1. Posted: July 28, 2015In:

    A cunning serial predator lures a stranded schoolgirl back to his den, where he tries to make her a pawn in his sadistic game, or, can she outplay him?

    Az Penpusher

    Thank you for your advice. In response how about this rewrite? 'A cunning serial predator lures a stranded schoolgirl back to his den, where he tries to use her as a pawn in his sadistic game of depravity, however the girls survival instincts makes her a worthy opponent that could put him out of plaRead more

    Thank you for your advice. In response how about this rewrite?

    ‘A cunning serial predator lures a stranded schoolgirl back to his den, where he tries to use her as a pawn in his sadistic game of depravity, however the girls survival instincts makes her a worthy opponent that could put him out of play for good.’

    I would really appreciate your feedback.

    Thanks, Az

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