1. Posted: July 28, 2015In:

    A cunning serial predator lures a stranded schoolgirl back to his den, where he tries to make her a pawn in his sadistic game, or, can she outplay him?

    Az Penpusher

    ?A stranded schoolgirl is lured back to the den of a cunning serial predator and over a chess match tries to make her a pawn in his sadistic game of depravity, however the girls survival instincts makes her a worthy opponent that could put him out of play for good.? Or 'A cunning serial predator lurRead more

    ?A stranded schoolgirl is lured back to the den of a cunning serial predator and over a chess match tries to make her a pawn in his sadistic game of depravity, however the girls survival instincts makes her a worthy opponent that could put him out of play for good.?

    Or

    ‘A cunning serial predator lures a stranded schoolgirl back to his den and over a chess match tries to make her a pawn in his sadistic game of depravity, however the girls survival instincts makes her a worthy opponent that could put him out of play for good.?

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  2. Posted: July 28, 2015In:

    A cunning serial predator lures a stranded schoolgirl back to his den, where he tries to make her a pawn in his sadistic game, or, can she outplay him?

    Az Penpusher

    Thanks dpg, agreed.

    Thanks dpg, agreed.

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  3. Posted: July 27, 2015In:

    Twenty years after the horrific slaying of a family, terrified townsfolk wait in fear for the imminent return of the menacing monster that was put away for the crime.

    Az Penpusher

    Thanks for your replies. Please feel free to offer feedback for this rewrite: 'Twenty years after the horrific slaying of a quaint town's family, news of the monster jailed for the crime returning puts the townsfolk in fear for their lives; pinning hope on their brave leader, they aim to stop the maRead more

    Thanks for your replies. Please feel free to offer feedback for this rewrite:

    ‘Twenty years after the horrific slaying of a quaint town’s family, news of the monster jailed for the crime returning puts the townsfolk in fear for their lives; pinning hope on their brave leader, they aim to stop the maniac who is imminently approaching leaving a trail of destruction behind.’

    Kind regards,

    Az

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