1. Posted: July 18, 2012In:

    A chaotic and self-hating mob family has to join forces to counter a neurotic cop who\'s showing too much interest in their affairs.

    Andrew Bates Logliner

    I forgot to add also, the inciting incident? What happens to make our hero realise change is needed, or something happened out of his control? fill out the elements below, maybe it will make your logline more clearer. Protag- ? Antag- Cop or family member? Goal- Reconnect family to protect affairs IRead more

    I forgot to add also, the inciting incident? What happens to make our hero realise change is needed, or something happened out of his control?

    fill out the elements below, maybe it will make your logline more clearer.

    Protag- ?
    Antag- Cop or family member?
    Goal- Reconnect family to protect affairs
    Inner Conflict- family members
    Outer Conflict- the police
    Irony- family working with cops??
    Hook- ?
    Genre- ?

    Again hope this helps, best of luck.

    See less
    • 0
  2. Posted: July 18, 2012In:

    A chaotic and self-hating mob family has to join forces to counter a neurotic cop who\'s showing too much interest in their affairs.

    Andrew Bates Logliner

    Good idea, Radu. I like it. I might make a few suggestions: For the Protagonist maybe focus on one character in the mob instead of a group (the one guy who knows they need to come together to become a family etc) Also give the hero a fault or flaw, something that he needs to over come to protect hisRead more

    Good idea, Radu. I like it.
    I might make a few suggestions:

    For the Protagonist maybe focus on one character in the mob instead of a group (the one guy who knows they need to come together to become a family etc)

    Also give the hero a fault or flaw, something that he needs to over come to protect his family or their affairs (unless his/her family is the flaw?)

    What are “their” affairs? to us that could be anything? Family, Money, robbery? We need to know the stakes, are the stakes big enough to cripple the entire family?

    I assume the cop is the antagonist and not someone else in the family?
    (a family member who wants the family to remain the way it is “chaotic self hating…working with the cop perhaps?)

    Radu, I hope this has helped in someway. Best of luck.

    See less
    • 0
  3. Posted: July 17, 2012In:

    A Wildlife ranger investigates a series of bizarre animal mutilations, Contracts the Lyconthropy virus. He struggles to find a cure and safety from a group of sadistic werewolf hunters.

    Andrew Bates Logliner

    Thanks gman I didn't want to throw around the word 'werewolf' around to much. I should also mention a new moon approaching also. Will work on, thanks.

    Thanks gman
    I didn’t want to throw around the word ‘werewolf’ around to much. I should also mention a new moon approaching also. Will work on, thanks.

    See less
    • 0