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A boy and his friends must cross dimensions to stop an evil dictator from merging both worlds.
There's clearly an idea brimming with conflict here, but I think several points would make the longline much stronger: 1. I'm missing the characterisation a little here. How is that boy and his friends different from the countless little boy's plus posse that we know from movie's already? Same goesRead more
There’s clearly an idea brimming with conflict here, but I think several points would make the longline much stronger:
1. I’m missing the characterisation a little here. How is that boy and his friends different from the countless little boy’s plus posse that we know from movie’s already? Same goes for the “evil dictator.” Evil seems generic, as we assume the dictator they’re trying to beat isn’t exactly “good.”
2. Why not work in the tactics they will use to stop him, instead of using a generic word like stop? Maybe they have to trick him into not doing it, maybe they have to battle him to do it… whatever.
3. Most important of all: WHY do they need to stop him from merging worlds? What tangible consequences will this have for the world’s that we can see play out and understand why the boy and his friends would set out on this quest? In other words, what is really at stake here?
Cheers 😉
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