1. Posted: July 14, 2022In:

    An divorced actor decides to reconnect with his daughter after she becomes famous in her own right.

    BenGilani Logliner

    Hi IvyEight6, I think you need to provide a little more context. Like: 1- Why was the actor disconnected from his daughter in the first place? 2- Why does he want to reconnect now? 3- Does he want to reconnect particularly because she is becoming famous, too? These are the things that create an inteRead more

    Hi IvyEight6,
    I think you need to provide a little more context. Like:
    1- Why was the actor disconnected from his daughter in the first place?
    2- Why does he want to reconnect now?
    3- Does he want to reconnect particularly because she is becoming famous, too?

    These are the things that create an interest in reading your script.
    I hope this helps.

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  2. Posted: July 12, 2022In:

    A unyielding stickler commander tries to lead a rescue team in a distress signal from distant base.

    BenGilani Logliner

    Is this what you are trying to say? An invincible zealous commander leads a rescue team in danger to safety (Remotely) (from distance). I hope this helps

    Is this what you are trying to say?

    An invincible zealous commander leads a rescue team in danger to safety (Remotely) (from distance).

    I hope this helps

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  3. Posted: July 12, 2022In:

    When the king ends up on his death bed, a young prince must prevent a revolution by stopping the chancellor from gaining control of the throne.

    BenGilani Logliner

    Hi Harris, How about this? With the king on his death bed, a young prince must prevent a chancellor from initiating a revolution that is aimed to surrender the kingdom to him. I hope this helps.

    Hi Harris,
    How about this?

    With the king on his death bed, a young prince must prevent a chancellor from initiating a revolution that is aimed to surrender the kingdom to him.

    I hope this helps.

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