1. Posted: July 1, 2016In:

    A street stupid teen struggles to sell methamphetamine looted from a crimescene to fund his dream of making it big in Hollywood, as he’s pursued by a psychopath cop.

    benny Logliner

    Thanks once again dpg. You are right WW's motives to have the money there for his family were purely unselfish. Was this really his motive for continuing the criminal activity though? Perhaps building the Heisenburg brand became addictive? Perhaps the opportunity he'd lost with Gray Matters TechnoloRead more

    Thanks once again dpg.
    You are right WW’s motives to have the money there for his family were purely unselfish. Was this really his motive for continuing the criminal activity though? Perhaps building the Heisenburg brand became addictive? Perhaps the opportunity he’d lost with Gray Matters Technologies in a previous life was motivating him. My thoughts were he turned his back on his family and his goals became purely selfish.
    I’m merely trying to get to the bottom of what makes someone root for a character regardless of their motives/ flaws /selfish acts and incorporate that into my confused young teen.
    No my story is not high concept.
    That’s also interesting about Vince Gillian and Hancock.

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  2. Posted: July 1, 2016In:

    A street stupid teen struggles to sell methamphetamine looted from a crimescene to fund his dream of making it big in Hollywood, as he’s pursued by a psychopath cop.

    benny Logliner

    Thank you Erica. The "street stupid teen" is meant to describe his flaw which will give him an instant disadvantage when it comes to achieving his goal of selling the meth. Thank you for the alternative option but I really hate the word "grieving" as it straight away gives the film a sad and potentiRead more

    Thank you Erica. The “street stupid teen” is meant to describe his flaw which will give him an instant disadvantage when it comes to achieving his goal of selling the meth.
    Thank you for the alternative option but I really hate the word “grieving” as it straight away gives the film a sad and potentially boring feel. Also he’s not a street kid. He’s “street stupid”.
    The cop doesn’t have to be crazy sure. But that’s his character. To me it only adds to the teens dramas. Feedback appreciated.

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  3. Posted: July 1, 2016In:

    A street stupid teen struggles to sell methamphetamine looted from a crimescene to fund his dream of making it big in Hollywood, as he’s pursued by a psychopath cop.

    benny Logliner

    Great I didn't see the edit tool cheers dpg. Yes what you say is true it's hard to root for a drug dealer. But there really are so many reasons to root for this character which I'll work on summarizing in very few words to squeeze into the already jam packed logline. For starters he's just a stupidRead more

    Great I didn’t see the edit tool cheers dpg.
    Yes what you say is true it’s hard to root for a drug dealer. But there really are so many reasons to root for this character which I’ll work on summarizing in very few words to squeeze into the already jam packed logline.
    For starters he’s just a stupid kid who recently lost his mother in a car accident. She was a well respected community worker which left him to be raised by his clueless beer drinking, cricket addicted father.? As sad as this all is the question is, will the audience find enough sympathy to hope this boy succeeds?
    As much as I hate to compare my story to Breaking Bad, I did find myself still rooting for WW even after he made his quota to get his cancer treatment. Maybe I just liked the guy. I guess I see the same scenario with Hancock.? A reckless drunk who I still wanted to see change because I liked him.
    I guess in short the teen undergoes serious personal change throughout the script and comes to his senses with the whole drug deal nonsense. He sees the light and eventually continues his mothers unfinished work with the drug problem in the community (yes while being pursued by a nut case cop). So the new struggle is to outrun the cop and turn things around somehow.
    I know none of this means anything if I can’t squeeze it into the logline so once again I’ll go away and come back again.
    Good point on the wording of ‘psychotic’.

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