1. Posted: April 23, 2013In:

    Strife

    brenkilco

    Presumably its the mob's suitcase and there is something extremely valuable or compromising inside. Think you should clarify. Also why the oath? Sounds more like a samurai psychopath than a mob enforcer. Think you need a bit more about who he is. After stealing ??? from the London ?????, a young thiRead more

    Presumably its the mob’s suitcase and there is something extremely valuable or compromising inside. Think you should clarify. Also why the oath? Sounds more like a samurai psychopath than a mob enforcer. Think you need a bit more about who he is.

    After stealing ??? from the London ?????, a young thief engages in a deadly game of cat and mouse with a vengeful enforcer sworn to kill him.

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  2. Posted: April 22, 2013In:

    On the eve of World War Two, aboard the Orient Express, a reporter uncovers a German plot to kidnap a national leader, and must discover how the victim has somehow been made to magically vanish from the speeding train. If he fails the Nazis triumph. If he succeeds all the passengers may die.

    brenkilco

    Thanks, Tor Dollhouse. Nice and concise, though I hate to lose the locked room aspect of the thing, the fact that the diplomat disappears or seems to disappear from the moving train. Richiev, the statesman is a pure macguffin and his nationality really doesn' matter. All that matters is that everyonRead more

    Thanks, Tor Dollhouse. Nice and concise, though I hate to lose the locked room aspect of the thing, the fact that the diplomat disappears or seems to disappear from the moving train.

    Richiev, the statesman is a pure macguffin and his nationality really doesn’ matter. All that matters is that everyone considers him important.

    Tony Edwards, you line is solid but actually deviates from the premise of the script, which is a bit involved. Everyone believe the statesman is dead. Only the reporter believes he is alive and if he proves it he will inadvertently alert a Nazi assassin. Tough to cram into a nutshell.

    Thanks for all the input. Will keep at it.

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  3. Posted: April 19, 2013In:

    After failing to save her own partner, the superhero called Nova is a haunted shell of her former self until a woman from an alternate reality appears seeking help – a woman who looks exactly like her dead partner.

    brenkilco

    Is the resemblance of the "doppelganger" to the dead partner merely coincidental or is she facing a challenge in her dimension similar to the one that caused the death of the partner? Is this a real second chance for the protagonist or merely an imagined one? Is the protag's motivation greater thanRead more

    Is the resemblance of the “doppelganger” to the dead partner merely coincidental or is she facing a challenge in her dimension similar to the one that caused the death of the partner? Is this a real second chance for the protagonist or merely an imagined one? Is the protag’s motivation greater than the logline indicates?

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