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When a twenties something Jersey Shore type who lives solely for “the life” comes down with a bout of severe depression, he begins to see his world in a different light.
Very helpful, Richiev. Thank you.
Very helpful, Richiev. Thank you.
See lessA young motorcycle rider who wants to become a police detective but suddenly 5 people are killed and the killer is unknown and if he solves this case he can become a detective.
Hey fighter200, I think I know what you're going for but I think the story could use some work. The best thing to do is to ask questions and research how Police officers are promoted in the force because I know they have to work at a level before they are promoted to Detective which may take a few yRead more
Hey fighter200,
I think I know what you’re going for but I think the story could use some work. The best thing to do is to ask questions and research how Police officers are promoted in the force because I know they have to work at a level before they are promoted to Detective which may take a few years on the force. So he’s jump from motorcycle rider to Police detective because a killer is on the loose is a stretch. Could it be that the motorcycle rider is already a Cop? And solving this case could mean a promotion? Ultimately, that’s in your hands but I think I know what you are trying to do.
God bless!
See lessA kid named John goes to an amusement park which has a laser tag booth for his birthday with his friends enter laser tag when they find out if they don’t win they get executed
Interesting concept! I feel if it was worded a bit different, it could have potential. When a group of friends enter a laser tag tournament for a birthday party, they find out that the stakes in this harmless game could mean life and death. Mention the stakes with it being a life or death situationRead more
Interesting concept! I feel if it was worded a bit different, it could have potential.
When a group of friends enter a laser tag tournament for a birthday party, they find out that the stakes in this harmless game could mean life and death.
Mention the stakes with it being a life or death situation and the contrast between it being a kid’s game pretty much and the fact that losing – means execution sounds good. I’m actually warming up to the idea myself!
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