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When bionic rivals–hired to reset the server–discover two halves of it in each other, they engage until one of them lives to receive the pay
I still don't quite understand the concept, even with Take II. ?What is so important about this server? ?We may need to have more context. ?Is this server made by the same company who made them or employs them? ?Is this server important to their world and why have they been hired to reset it? ?ThereRead more
I still don’t quite understand the concept, even with Take II. ?What is so important about this server? ?We may need to have more context. ?Is this server made by the same company who made them or employs them? ?Is this server important to their world and why have they been hired to reset it? ?There is potential here, I htink the story needs refining. ?This is a brother/twin/family saga essentially? ?Those emotional stakes need to be in the pitch logline.
See lessAn up-and-coming, LA-based actor is about to have his “big break” meeting with a star-director when he abruptly gets news from his casual-girlfriend, Rachel, that she’s pregnant, unplanned, which begins a twist-filled night that escalates to an explosive climax between Dae and Rachel.
During one epic night, ?a struggling actor must juggle an unplanned pregnancy, an egomaniacal director, and his own quest for stardom, making him weigh his dreams and priorities. This is an existential quest story right, a man facing his whole life in one night, correct? ?The gravity of that needs tRead more
During one epic night, ?a struggling actor must juggle an unplanned pregnancy, an egomaniacal director, and his own quest for stardom, making him weigh his dreams and priorities.
This is an existential quest story right, a man facing his whole life in one night, correct? ?The gravity of that needs to be incorporated in the logline.
See less3 siblings set out on an adventure with their father?s friend, a professor, to find out what caused his disappearance and stop the power that could destroy humanity that he was looking for.
I find this far too vague. ?The stakes seem high but what is the hook? ?What kind of professor? ?What kind of power that can destroy humanity? Is it supernatural, is it manmade, is it alien? ?Do you need all 3 siblings? ?Why? ?Can't it be one child perhaps connecting with the father's estranged partRead more
I find this far too vague. ?The stakes seem high but what is the hook? ?What kind of professor? ?What kind of power that can destroy humanity? Is it supernatural, is it manmade, is it alien? ?Do you need all 3 siblings? ?Why? ?Can’t it be one child perhaps connecting with the father’s estranged partner for example? ?Why does the Dad’s friend agree to go on this journey? ?Perhaps they are more than friends? ?Estranged colleagues? ?Former lovers? ?I need more specificity and more connective tissue with the characters.
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