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A selfish teenager has until sunrise to rescue his devoted little sister from the place where dreams REALLY come from, or else they'll be trapped there forever.
Nice one. Wasn't sure about 'selfish teenager', but I see how it really puts the character development up front, so that's great. Also like the impact of "where dreams REALLY come from". Good intriguing hook that grabs one's attention.
Nice one. Wasn’t sure about ‘selfish teenager’, but I see how it really puts the character development up front, so that’s great. Also like the impact of “where dreams REALLY come from”. Good intriguing hook that grabs one’s attention.
See lessThe only way the few remaining humans can survive the Vampire Apocalypse is by continually staying under the sunlight – but fuel, resources and transportation are running low.
Good idea for a story, but I agree with Karel that specifying the protagonist would increase impact. I'd re-word the logline to make it less clunky. Maybe something like: "[Human survivors/protagonist] of the Vampire Apocalypse need[s] to stay out in the sunlight-- but fuel and resources are runningRead more
Good idea for a story, but I agree with Karel that specifying the protagonist would increase impact.
I’d re-word the logline to make it less clunky. Maybe something like: “[Human survivors/protagonist] of the Vampire Apocalypse need[s] to stay out in the sunlight– but fuel and resources are running low as darkness sets in.”
Just a suggestion.
See lessTo stop her ex-husband from stealing the Mona Lisa, a world-class cat burglar turned security expert must illegally install her own security in the Louvre.
Good hook for what seems like an exciting sotry. Just wondering about the 'illegally install' the security system. Made me wonder: does she just want to stop her ex-husband from stealing the Mona Lisa, or does she want to steal it herself? If she's employed by the Louvre, why does she have to instalRead more
Good hook for what seems like an exciting sotry.
Just wondering about the ‘illegally install’ the security system. Made me wonder: does she just want to stop her ex-husband from stealing the Mona Lisa, or does she want to steal it herself? If she’s employed by the Louvre, why does she have to install the system ‘illegally’?
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