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  1. Posted: December 13, 2012In: Public

    When a search for Ned Kelly?s lost gold becomes a life or death battle, it is up to an introverted young Goth to stand up to the murderous local cop hunting them.

    damien
    Added an answer on October 13, 2012 at 6:04 pm

    Hey Nicholas, The inciting incident is when the two main characters are in a car wreck and are no longer on their intended path to Sydney for a big meeting. They get a lift with someone who brings them on his search for the Lost Kelly Gold.

    Hey Nicholas,

    The inciting incident is when the two main characters are in a car wreck and are no longer on their intended path to Sydney for a big meeting. They get a lift with someone who brings them on his search for the Lost Kelly Gold.

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  2. Posted: December 13, 2012In: Public

    When a search for Ned Kelly?s lost gold becomes a life or death battle, it is up to an introverted young Goth to stand up to the murderous local cop hunting them.

    damien
    Added an answer on October 10, 2012 at 10:58 pm

    Hey Kriss, The goth is part of the search, the cop isn't hunting for the gold but needing to silence the group because he is protecting the corrupt loan agency. The goth has to stand up to the cop, technically it is part of his arc, but he is the only one left who can. It seems that I either put tooRead more

    Hey Kriss,

    The goth is part of the search, the cop isn’t hunting for the gold but needing to silence the group because he is protecting the corrupt loan agency. The goth has to stand up to the cop, technically it is part of his arc, but he is the only one left who can.

    It seems that I either put too much info in or too little. This must be the Goldilocks process or writing.

    How about this;
    A search for Ned Kelly?s lost gold becomes a life and death battle when the group uncover local corruption. Now only the introverted Goth is left to stand up to the murderous local cop.

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  3. Posted: October 9, 2012In: Public

    Three losers dream of making it big with their online retail business until one of them decides to rob the company's account. The other two find their way out from the angry buyers and hunt down the conman only to discover that he has lost his memory. They must now try and recover the cash or give in to the cops.

    damien
    Added an answer on October 9, 2012 at 9:38 pm

    Too many words for a logline. Keep it brief and focus on the main story; the protagonists and their main opponent, the hook of the story and the main goal. 25-30 words. Losers dreaming of making it big would not be cinematic, they need to be doing something to make it big and if they are losers, howRead more

    Too many words for a logline. Keep it brief and focus on the main story; the protagonists and their main opponent, the hook of the story and the main goal. 25-30 words.

    Losers dreaming of making it big would not be cinematic, they need to be doing something to make it big and if they are losers, how do they already have a lot of cash? And why would they give in to the cops if they are the victims? You want to give a brief outline of the story, if you try to tell everything that will happen (ie the subplots), the logline has no clarity.

    Keep going!

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