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A young, successful real estate entrepreneur discovers his entire life is controlled by a group of computer programmers.
What you have now caught my attention, but, you're lacking more intrigue, antagonism and the goal. You're on the right track, yet halfway done. Revise it and nail it.
What you have now caught my attention, but, you’re lacking more intrigue, antagonism and the goal. You’re on the right track, yet halfway done. Revise it and nail it.
See lessA FEMALE ALIEN LANDS ON THE PANET IN THE SPACE WHERE ONLY MALES LIVE. THE MALES GET SCARED FROM THE FEMALE BECAUSE THEY HAVE NEVER SEEN ANY. THE FEMALE TRIES TO SOLVE THE HISTORICAL PROBLEM OF THE MALES'S PLANET, SHE WANTS FEMALES BACK THERE.
In writing, using all capital letters implies the writer is "YELLING", so it would be less distracting if you sentence case them. I agree with the former posts, what you've stated is not a logline. It needs to be trimmed, brought to concise level structure wise. Attempt at constructing a plot. DefinRead more
In writing, using all capital letters implies the writer is “YELLING”, so it would be less distracting if you sentence case them. I agree with the former posts, what you’ve stated is not a logline. It needs to be trimmed, brought to concise level structure wise. Attempt at constructing a plot. Define a special characteristic of this alien female, we know her goal, but what antagonistic source opposes her new-found quest. I’ve been spending time reading logline tips and examples. Reading them helps a lot in creating and formatting a shorter and precise one. I suggest you read several, get the idea and get cracking at a new, improved one. Hope this helps!
See lessA boy who spent all his life believing he was weak, suddenly discovers that there is something, something special about himself. He never understood until he fell 1200 feet off a mountain during a trek; and survived without a scratch.
You've repeated the word "Something", so correct that. About the logline itself, you've better go back and improve on it. It reads as an event, and it doesn't really reveal the goal and the conflict he must face/overcome. May this also help you in your process.
You’ve repeated the word “Something”, so correct that. About the logline itself, you’ve better go back and improve on it. It reads as an event, and it doesn’t really reveal the goal and the conflict he must face/overcome. May this also help you in your process.
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