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Terrified of his parents suspicions, a freshly outed gay high school senior must get a girlfriend so his parents will think he is straight.
Stakes are simply the consequences that will occur if a character fails at their goal. Failing to stop a shark before eating people, means that those people will be eaten. Stakes have to be set up. Why is getting a date to prom so important? What negative consequence will happen if he fails? Why isRead more
Stakes are simply the consequences that will occur if a character fails at their goal. Failing to stop a shark before eating people, means that those people will be eaten.
Stakes have to be set up. Why is getting a date to prom so important? What negative consequence will happen if he fails? Why is it important to him? If you don’t know, I don’t the script will be able to convey it to a producer who’s reading it.
I suggest reading through the other loglines labelled under Drama and Comedy on this site. Read through the feedback and try to apply that to your own logline.
I just don’t follow the logic of why he must be a gay bestfriend in order to get a date. What’s the conflict? Who’s the antagonist?
Here’s an example using elements from you logline: When his homophobic parents confront him about being gay, a closeted nerd must convince a popular cheerleader to go?to prom with him so his parents won’t send him to conversion therapy. (32)
While i do identify antagonists and stakes in my example, it doesn’t present a concept that would take up a feature length movie.
The problem seems to be that the logline doesn’t present a clear, logical plot that is unique. The logline describes a concept that displays a stereotypical role, and it doesn’t describe conflict. Quite simply, what’s stopping him from getting a date just by asking someone? How does being outed at school directly connect to having to get a date for prom? ?How does acting like a gay best friend get him a date to prom?
For general information, review the Formula tab at the top of the page, and like I mentioned earlier, study other people’s posts and the feedback they receive. I know from experience that learning to review other loglines immensely helps with writing your own.
See lessTerrified of his parents suspicions, a freshly outed gay high school senior must get a girlfriend so his parents will think he is straight.
This logline is confusing. First of all, take a girl to what? The inciting incident lacks a causal relationship with the action of the story. How does people finding out he's gay make him have to go with a girl? T Why does he have to take a girl in the first place? Do you mean his parents don't knowRead more
This logline is confusing. First of all, take a girl to what? The inciting incident lacks a causal relationship with the action of the story. How does people finding out he’s gay make him have to go with a girl? T Why does he have to take a girl in the first place? Do you mean his parents don’t know?
There’s simply a number of actions that he could take to keep his family from knowing, if that’s the problem. Such as: 1) don’t go to the dance or party or whatever. 2) Go with a group of friends and meet up with his real date. 3) If it’s that important to appear to have a female date, then you know, just ask a female. Or tell a female friend of his situation so she can act like his date.
The logline is unclear and lacks stakes. What happens if he doesn’t find a female to go with him?
See lessAfter a near drowning awakens an ability to commune with evil spirits, (12) a cowardly teenager must struggle to resist when a bushfire causes unbearably hot summer nights. (27)
The inciting incident and goal set by the protagonist are causally connected. What does gaining this new ability have anything at all to do with hot summer night?
The inciting incident and goal set by the protagonist are causally connected. What does gaining this new ability have anything at all to do with hot summer night?
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