Sign Up Sign Up

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign In Sign In

Forgot Password?

If you'd like access, Sign Up Here

Forgot Password Forgot Password

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

Logline It! Logo Logline It! Logo
Sign InSign Up

Logline It!

Logline It! Navigation

  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Search
Post Your Logline

Mobile menu

Close
Post Your Logline
  • Signup
  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
  • About
  • Questions
  • Answers
  • Best Answers
  1. Posted: August 4, 2017In: Comedy

    Terrified of his parents suspicions, a freshly outed gay high school senior must get a girlfriend so his parents will think he is straight.

    Best Answer
    Dkpough1 Uberwriter
    Added an answer on August 4, 2017 at 3:33 am

    Stakes are simply the consequences that will occur if a character fails at their goal. Failing to stop a shark before eating people, means that those people will be eaten. Stakes have to be set up. Why is getting a date to prom so important? What negative consequence will happen if he fails? Why isRead more

    Stakes are simply the consequences that will occur if a character fails at their goal. Failing to stop a shark before eating people, means that those people will be eaten.
    Stakes have to be set up. Why is getting a date to prom so important? What negative consequence will happen if he fails? Why is it important to him? If you don’t know, I don’t the script will be able to convey it to a producer who’s reading it.
    I suggest reading through the other loglines labelled under Drama and Comedy on this site. Read through the feedback and try to apply that to your own logline.
    I just don’t follow the logic of why he must be a gay bestfriend in order to get a date. What’s the conflict? Who’s the antagonist?

    Here’s an example using elements from you logline: When his homophobic parents confront him about being gay, a closeted nerd must convince a popular cheerleader to go?to prom with him so his parents won’t send him to conversion therapy. (32)

    While i do identify antagonists and stakes in my example, it doesn’t present a concept that would take up a feature length movie.
    The problem seems to be that the logline doesn’t present a clear, logical plot that is unique. The logline describes a concept that displays a stereotypical role, and it doesn’t describe conflict. Quite simply, what’s stopping him from getting a date just by asking someone? How does being outed at school directly connect to having to get a date for prom? ?How does acting like a gay best friend get him a date to prom?

    For general information, review the Formula tab at the top of the page, and like I mentioned earlier, study other people’s posts and the feedback they receive. I know from experience that learning to review other loglines immensely helps with writing your own.

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
  2. Posted: August 4, 2017In: Comedy

    Terrified of his parents suspicions, a freshly outed gay high school senior must get a girlfriend so his parents will think he is straight.

    Best Answer
    Dkpough1 Uberwriter
    Added an answer on August 4, 2017 at 2:11 am

    This logline is confusing. First of all, take a girl to what? The inciting incident lacks a causal relationship with the action of the story. How does people finding out he's gay make him have to go with a girl? T Why does he have to take a girl in the first place? Do you mean his parents don't knowRead more

    This logline is confusing. First of all, take a girl to what? The inciting incident lacks a causal relationship with the action of the story. How does people finding out he’s gay make him have to go with a girl? T Why does he have to take a girl in the first place? Do you mean his parents don’t know?

    There’s simply a number of actions that he could take to keep his family from knowing, if that’s the problem. Such as: 1) don’t go to the dance or party or whatever. 2) Go with a group of friends and meet up with his real date. 3) If it’s that important to appear to have a female date, then you know, just ask a female. Or tell a female friend of his situation so she can act like his date.

    The logline is unclear and lacks stakes. What happens if he doesn’t find a female to go with him?

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
  3. Posted: August 1, 2017In: Drama

    After a near drowning awakens an ability to commune with evil spirits, (12) a cowardly teenager must struggle to resist when a bushfire causes unbearably hot summer nights. (27)

    Dkpough1 Uberwriter
    Added an answer on August 1, 2017 at 10:42 am

    The inciting incident and goal set by the protagonist are causally connected. What does gaining this new ability have anything at all to do with hot summer night?

    The inciting incident and goal set by the protagonist are causally connected. What does gaining this new ability have anything at all to do with hot summer night?

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
1 … 24 25 26 27 28 … 161

Sidebar

Stats

  • Loglines 8,002
  • Reviews 32,189
  • Best Reviews 629
  • Users 3,740

screenwriting courses

Adv 120x600

aalan

Explore

  • Signup

Footer

© 2022 Karel Segers. All Rights Reserved
With Love from Immersion Screenwriting.