1. Posted: July 11, 2017In:

    A rapidly spreading sickness causes a suicidal teenager to put aside her intentions to save her loved ones.

    Dkpough1 Uberwriter

    "A rapidly spreading sickness causes a suicidal teenager to put aside her intentions to save her loved ones."Foxtrot, there have been many characters, some quite popular who are suicidal or depressed. The best example I can think of at the moment is Martin Riggs from the Lethal Weapon franchise. InRead more

    “A rapidly spreading sickness causes a suicidal teenager to put aside her intentions to save her loved ones.”

    Foxtrot, there have been many characters, some quite popular who are suicidal or depressed. The best example I can think of at the moment is Martin Riggs from the Lethal Weapon franchise. In the movies and the television series he doesn’t want to live because his wife died. The audience wants to see that enough that it spawned three sequels and a Fox television show(that was renewed for a second season). Someone who is suicidal doesn’t necessarily mean they are determined to end their own life. It can mean depression and that person being more reckless, with no regard for their safety. ?I think that is what Djhasma was going for.

    However, I do agree that the logline needs to better present her state of mind as an obstacle and risk and show the character arc.
    The logline fails to describe a visual action. How is a teenager equipped and able to stop this sickness?

    Here’s an example:?After her parents are infected and?turn into feral?beasts, a suicidal teenager volunteers for a dangerous mission to recover a cure so she can save her family. ?(28)

    This example may not be what your story is but I’ve included my suggestions. What action does you character go through to achieve her goal? Also, why wouldn’t the adults do something? Why must this teenager do this? Not the military, scientists, cops, but this one teenage girl?

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  2. Posted: July 5, 2017In:

    I thought about replacing the ‘Romeo and Juliet’ play with a self-written play. “When he meets an exchange student, a socially awkward nerd joins the university play to win the lead role and have his first kiss ever with his crush before she returns to her home country.”

    Dkpough1 Uberwriter

    " I know many actors who are socially awkward, yet on stage they shine.How about you make him an introvert."Someone being an introvert doesn't necessarily mean they have stage fright. I suggest using stage fright or anxiety. ?Stage fright is a trait which directly hinders his ability to complete hisRead more

    ” I know many actors who are socially awkward, yet on stage they shine.How about you make him an introvert.”

    Someone being an introvert doesn’t necessarily mean they have stage fright. I suggest using stage fright or anxiety. ?Stage fright is a trait which directly hinders his ability to complete his goal, but I agree social awkwardness isn’t the best description.?

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  3. Posted: July 7, 2017In:

    I have a simple question about one script I’m currently working on: it has 10 short stories all based in Greece in different cities and areas. Maybe you know the movies “New York, I love you” and “Paris, je t’aime”. Basically, it is such a script, but located in Greece. Do you think this type of script is marketable in any way? And should I write one logline for the whole script or 10 different ones for each story? Thank you for your help in advance! Savas

    Dkpough1 Uberwriter

    I think Foxtrot makes a good point with the attention span. Especially if they aren't connected and cohesive. Basically ,why does this one script have 10 separate stories? Does it need to? Why not make one story into a full film, or make 10 separate films? ?I'm not sure if it would be marketable toRead more

    I think Foxtrot makes a good point with the attention span. Especially if they aren’t connected and cohesive. Basically ,why does this one script have 10 separate stories? Does it need to? Why not make one story into a full film, or make 10 separate films? ?I’m not sure if it would be marketable to do it this way.

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