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When their worlds fall apart over the same week, three disenchanted, cash-strapped girlfriends make a pact to attempt three wild ways to make it big ? and get rich – fast.
Something to consider is to write a logline for each character. Maybe each of them has to get a different job that is unusual or not something they want to do. For example, for one, it could be that she has to get a job cleaning the zoo.
Something to consider is to write a logline for each character. Maybe each of them has to get a different job that is unusual or not something they want to do.
See lessFor example, for one, it could be that she has to get a job cleaning the zoo.
When their worlds fall apart over the same week, three disenchanted, cash-strapped girlfriends make a pact to attempt three wild ways to make it big ? and get rich – fast.
"When their worlds fall apart over the same week, three disenchanted, cash-strapped girlfriends make a pact to attempt three wild ways to make it big ? and get rich ? fast." The logline is vague. The inciting incident shouldn't be "their worlds fall apart" but?how they fall apart. Likewise with "makRead more
“When their worlds fall apart over the same week, three disenchanted, cash-strapped girlfriends make a pact to attempt three wild ways to make it big ? and get rich ? fast.”
The logline is vague. The inciting incident shouldn’t be “their worlds fall apart” but?how they fall apart. Likewise with “make a pact to attempt three wild ways to…” It is too vague. What exactly are these wild ways? ?Something like “make homemade videos” is not as vague as what you have.
See lessWhen his memories are stolen and his life backup file altered, a security analyst must use clues hidden within his back up memories to recover a missing 3 weeks of his past that are the key to stopping a devastating attack.
"When his memories are stolen and his life backup file altered, a security analyst must use clues hidden within his backup memories to retrieve his real past." Maybe you can frame it differently. Something like: After finding an inconsistency in his memory file, a security analyst must search for moRead more
“When his memories are stolen and his life backup file altered, a security analyst must use clues hidden within his backup memories to retrieve his real past.”
Maybe you can frame it differently.
Something like: After finding an inconsistency in his memory file, a security analyst must search for more clues so he can retrieve his real past. (23)
Point being, use the actual finding of the alteration(I’m guessing it is found when someone mentions something and he doesn’t remember it correctly or something?) as the inciting incident, maybe even consider having it so that he doesn’t know his memory has been stolen and secretly replaced? I dunno, it feels like it could use that surprise, where he has to find out about the theft in the first place.
See lessHope this helps.