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REVERSAL is when a newly widowed woman enters a retirement village and volunteers for a radical anti-aging trial, the treatment begins to work — splitting the community into rival factions and exposing how far people will go to escape decline.
I think it is a promising premise, but it needs a tighter focus and more specificity. For example, she volunteers for an anti-aging *drug* trial. Also, a logline should begin where the plot begins, to wit, with the inciting incident. What kick starts the plot? When she enters a retirement community?Read more
I think it is a promising premise, but it needs a tighter focus and more specificity.
For example, she volunteers for an anti-aging *drug* trial.
Also, a logline should begin where the plot begins, to wit, with the inciting incident. What kick starts the plot? When she enters a retirement community? I don’t think so. That’s setup, but I suggest it isn’t the inciting incident. The inciting incident is when the drug trial works. Complications ensue.
Also, the logline should state the objective goal the protagonist has a result of the inciting incident. So, what becomes her specific objective goal as a result of the results of taking the anti-aging drug? What is the specific problem/challenge/ complication she faces? Again, be specific,
Hope this helps.
See lessWhen her raw, tell-all article about her marriage goes viral, a struggling writer must navigate a toxic, public literary feud with her successful husband to finally achieve the fame and recognition she craves.
What Conrad said. It might benefit from microsurgery.
What Conrad said. It might benefit from microsurgery.
See lessA “guinea pig” A US Infantry division, formed immediately after Pearl Harbor and populated with middle-aged draftees, becomes the most respected, effective and feared unit in the Pacific Theater, earning the nickname “The Old Bastards”.
Re: becomes the most respected, effective and feared unit in the Pacific Theater... As currently written, the logline gives away the ending, something a logline is not supposed to do. A logline should set up the dramatic problem, but not tip its hand about the resolution. "The Old Bastards" might beRead more
Re: becomes the most respected, effective and feared unit in the Pacific Theater…
As currently written, the logline gives away the ending, something a logline is not supposed to do. A logline should set up the dramatic problem, but not tip its hand about the resolution.
“The Old Bastards” might be a good title for the project. But how the division –and movie– earns that title is a question to be raised, not answered in the logline.
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