1. Posted: February 12, 2025In:

    A highly skilled young man trained in both physical and verbal warfare is forced into leadership as an opposing government works behind the scenes to eradicate his family and steal their resources

    dogger Penpusher

    "forced into leadership..." to do what? What is his specific, concrete objective goal?

    “forced into leadership…” to do what? What is his specific, concrete objective goal?

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  2. Posted: February 12, 2025In:

    When a man gets accused of sexually abusing a kid, he must face the judgement of his own town, friends and family.

    dogger Penpusher

    Is this based on a movie? "Must face the judgement..." renders the protagonist passive. The protagonist should be *pro*active and striving toward a specific objective goal. In the face of the criticism and ostracism of his family, friends, and community, what is that objective goal?

    Is this based on a movie?

    “Must face the judgement…” renders the protagonist passive. The protagonist should be *pro*active and striving toward a specific objective goal. In the face of the criticism and ostracism of his family, friends, and community, what is that objective goal?

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  3. Posted: February 12, 2025In:

    On a normal day, a couple from university arrive in the NY city with same plan for one weekend, but a series of unexpected events happens to them after which their relationship, dreams and views on what they want change throughout a rainy day in a big city.

    dogger Penpusher

    Needs more specificity, a specific conflict, a specific objective goal. concrete stakes worth the audience's time (and money) worrying about.

    Needs more specificity, a specific conflict, a specific objective goal. concrete stakes worth the audience’s time (and money) worrying about.

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