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When her male colleagues wager on her best friend’s chastity, a woman remains silent; when the bet ends in rape, she seeks redemption through vengeance.
I agree with Dkpough1 that the logline needs to translate "want" into a specific "do" because that's what a plot is about. It's not enough for a logline to say what a character wants; a logline must say what the character must do to get what he wants.And both Dkpough1 and I believe that the most criRead more
I agree with Dkpough1 that the logline needs to translate “want” into a specific “do” because that’s what a plot is about. It’s not enough for a logline to say what a character wants; a logline must say what the character must do to get what he wants.
And both Dkpough1 and I believe that the most critical ingredient for an effective logline (that is, one that gets people to read the script) is a strong hook.
Alas, I think Dkpough1’s suggested version obscures the hook. And the hook for me is the character arc. How her struggle to get justice transmorgifies into a plot to get revenge.
See lessWhen her male colleagues wager on her best friend’s chastity, a woman remains silent; when the bet ends in rape, she seeks redemption through vengeance.
Yqwertz:You raise an excellent question.The general formula is that a logline should describe the plot of a protagonist who, as a result of an inciting incident, chooses a course of action toward a specific objective goal in the face of a protagonist and/or other obstacles. ?The objective goal is deRead more
Yqwertz:
You raise an excellent question.
The general formula is that a logline should describe the plot of a protagonist who, as a result of an inciting incident, chooses a course of action toward a specific objective goal in the face of a protagonist and/or other obstacles. ?The objective goal is decided upon by the end of Act 1 — that plot point usually ?demarcates the?end of the 1st Act. ?Ideally, ?the hook should be embedded in that decisive plot point.
But there are exceptions. One instance is “The King’s Speech” which was a thread of discussion here last September. ?One reason it is an exception to the rule is because it’s based on an historical character and events in ?his life. ?And it can be challenging to adapt messy history with verisimilitude to the requirements for a tidy drama.
Even if your character doesn’t figure out the winning m.o. until the end of the 2nd Act, she has to start out with a specific end in mind, right? (Death, incarceration, or whatever). ? And ?that specific end should be in the logline. ?Because, again, “get revenge” tells me nothing about what makes her struggle different from all the other movies where characters?seek revenge.
Just as the logline for “Jaws” describes the end goal — kill the shark. ?That turns out to be harder than they originally imagine and the way they finally do kill the animal is with a desperate, “Hail Mary”, improvised m.o late in the 3rd Act after everything else has failed.
See lessWhen her male colleagues wager on her best friend’s chastity, a woman remains silent; when the bet ends in rape, she seeks redemption through vengeance.
>>>I would claim that ?stop the killing monster? has the same level of clarity as ?redeem herself by avenging her friend?. Why is it necessary to be more specific in the logline about the method of vengeance?I respectfully disagree."Killing the monster" suggests a clearly defined end-point-Read more
>>>I would claim that ?stop the killing monster? has the same level of clarity as ?redeem herself by avenging her friend?. Why is it necessary to be more specific in the logline about the method of vengeance?
I respectfully disagree.
“Killing the monster” suggests a clearly defined end-point– a?visual moment — that cues the audience that the protagonist has succeeded. ?A scene where the shark dies, one way or another, and the audience has visual confirmation that the shark has been killed.
What’s the visual confirmation for “getting revenge”. ?There are so many ways that a character can get revenge. ?Does she Get him arrested and convicted, locked up in prison? ?Does she castrate him? Does she kill him?
There are few movies about someone trying to kill a shark. ?There are countless movies about someone wanting to get revenge. ?Consequently, there’s nothing particularly unique, no hook in someone wanting to get revenge. ??
In a revenge movie, ?the hook is in the how — how they intend to get it.
I realize that you may not want to disclose the “how” in the logline because you believe the hook will be stolen. ?That can be a dilemma and a writer has to weigh the trade offs. ?You have to decide what is the greater risk, having your hook stolen by revealing it, or not having your script read by hiding it.
Just saying.
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