What is his “true passion”? ?Collecting rare books? ?Fixing up and riding ?vintage Harley-Davidson ?motorcycles? ?Becoming a tattoo artist? ?The number of “true passions” a human being can have are probably as numerous as the number of people who exist. The ?logline needs state exactly what the true passion is for this character. ?And It needs to be stated in a form that clearly states and objective goal that develops from pursuing his “true passion”.

And what dramatic problem does it create? I’m guessing that pursuing his passion will collide with being a responsible father and husband ?– that’s the obvious plot trajectory. ?But I shouldn’t have to guess. It should be either stated or implicitly obvious from ?the logline.

And what are the stakes? ?Why MUST he do whatever he does? ?What is to be gained if he succeeds, lost if he fails?

>>Small country town Australia. But I thought it?d be too wordy cramming all that info in.

Depends on who you intend to pitch the movie to. ?If you’re pitching it to Australian producers, then I guess they’ll assume it’s set in their country. ?Otherwise, I don’t think it’s safe to ?assume producers in other countries will assume the setting is Australian, even if they know that’s where you’re from. ? Just add ?something like “a talented basketball player from a small Australian town” ? or “a talented baskeball player from the Australian outback” if that is the case.

Which, btw, I think is better than “mind blowing” for the reasons stated above. ?And because it provides a relevant framework for the struggle the protagonist faces: ?he’s a boy from small town “nowhere” struggling to make it somewhere big ,in the US of A, the epicenter of basketball.