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When a marketing agent’s marriage proposal is curiously rejected by his girlfriend, he secretly hires a starving journalist to investigate.
When the bride says "I don't" at the altar, the devastated and humiliated bridegroom hires a private detective to find out why. (22 words)Notes: His occupation may be important to the script as a whole, but for the purpose of the logline, it seems irrelevant.It's seems to me that the inciting incideRead more
When the bride says “I don’t” at the altar, the devastated and humiliated bridegroom hires a private detective to find out why. (22 words)
Notes:
His occupation may be important to the script as a whole, but for the purpose of the logline, it seems irrelevant.
It’s seems to me that the inciting incident needs needs more “emotional juice” — more psychological and social pain — to supercharge the resulting action, his hiring someone to find out why she dumped him. ?So I suggest she should change her mind in the worst possible way. ?And that could be worse for him than for her to say “I don’t” to leave him at the altar in front of god, and all the witnesses, family and friends and relatives who have traveled thousands of miles ?to celebrate the wedding at an exotic location with no expense spared.
Go big and bad with the inciting incident and I think you’ve got a winning concept, a marketable story.
fwiw
See lessA perfectionist Youtube star’s page views plummet when she falls for a hang loose gamer geek. Their PDA insecurities and her scheming manager threaten to ctrl+alt+delete their dreams to go public with their “In a relationship” status.
Am I reading it right that your premise is ?that it's the guy's fault that he's not an exhibitionist, not willing and able to convincingly go viral with public displays of affection?Or is it the girl's fault (character flaw!) for demanding that he become an exhibitionist, that he live up to her expeRead more
Am I reading it right that your premise is ?that it’s the guy’s fault that he’s not an exhibitionist, not willing and able to convincingly go viral with public displays of affection?
Or is it the girl’s fault (character flaw!) for demanding that he become an exhibitionist, that he live up to her expectations, to her demands for the sake of her [expletive deleted] page view count?
What at stake? ?Page view counts? ?What’s to be lost if privately he’s a loving and affectionate guy but ?refuses to show it publicly? ?There are any number of celebrities with successful careers and successful relationships with significant others who stay in the background, out of sight, off camera. ?Their careers flourish without their partners’ needing to go public with egregious displays of public affection.
I just don’t get what the problem is. ?(Other than the girl’s self-promoting expectations.)
See lessA perfectionist Youtube star’s page views plummet when she falls for a hang loose gamer geek. Their PDA insecurities and her scheming manager threaten to ctrl+alt+delete their dreams to go public with their “In a relationship” status.
Good advice from Nir Shelter. PDA is also a common abbreviation for Personal Digital Assistant and that is what I immediately thought of. ?So I was ?thrown off the logline. What's at stake? ?Her ratings? Her relationship? ?What's the primary plot problem that drives the story? And what does she inteRead more
Good advice from Nir Shelter.
PDA is also a common abbreviation for Personal Digital Assistant and that is what I immediately thought of. ?So I was ?thrown off the logline.
What’s at stake? ?Her ratings? Her relationship? ?What’s the primary plot problem that drives the story? And what does she intend to do about it– what is her objective goal?
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