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A street stupid teen struggles to sell methamphetamine looted from a crimescene to fund his dream of making it big in Hollywood, as he’s pursued by a psychopath cop.
>>>Was this really his motive for continuing the criminal activity though?No. ?But, per the formula for a series, ?that's another story line for another season. ?Are you writing a feature film or a series?>>>I?m merely trying to get to the bottom of what makes someone root for a chRead more
>>>Was this really his motive for continuing the criminal activity though?
No. ?But, per the formula for a series, ?that’s another story line for another season. ?Are you writing a feature film or a series?
>>>I?m merely trying to get to the bottom of what makes someone root for a character regardless of their motives/ flaws /selfish acts and incorporate that into my confused young teen.
I’m with you on that. ?I don’t subscribe to the standard rule that the character must always be sympathetic, always likable. ?Most of the time, for most stories, yes he or she should be. ?But not always. ?There are exceptions. ?I am always scanning for successful films (critical and/or commercial) ?that, as far as I can figure out, break the rule.
And based upon my study so far, l conclude that in order for a writer to get away with breaking the rule of a sympathetic character, or at least one with a redeeming feature or action, he’s got to have a “secret sauce”, a unique character angle or story twist that makes the ?character irresistible, the story compelling anyway.
Sorry, but so far I’m not sensing a “secret sauce” for this character or story.
BTW: ?Hancock is ?a comedy, and comedies are stories of human foibles. ?Hancock is a deeply flawed super hero — but he’s sympathetic because he’s not malicious. He doesn’t mean to cause all the trouble he does. ?Nor is he selfish. He’s not on an ego trip, pursuing self-aggrandizement.
(And doesn’t pursuing a Hollywierd career, ipso facto, ?entail something of an ego trip? Does anyone in showbiz have an objective goal of ?a career of ?hand-to-mouth poverty, humiliating rejection and obscurity, no fame, no money? )
You presented your story as a drama. ?Maybe it ought to be re-engineered as a comedy.
fwiw
See lessA street stupid teen struggles to sell methamphetamine looted from a crimescene to fund his dream of making it big in Hollywood, as he’s pursued by a psychopath cop.
Benny:Here's an issue I see about comparing your character to Walter White. ?WW's motive, while misguided, was altruistic. ?He wasn't trying to sell drugs for himself. ?He was selling them to have enough money to provide for his family after his death. ?That's the emotional hook Vince Gilligan thatRead more
Benny:
Here’s an issue I see about comparing your character to Walter White. ?WW’s motive, while misguided, was altruistic. ?He wasn’t trying to sell drugs for himself. ?He was selling them to have enough money to provide for his family after his death. ?That’s the emotional hook Vince Gilligan that was used to get us to root for the guy.
In contrast, your character’s goal as established in the logline is selfish. ?It’s all about him.
That he’s recently lost his mother makes him a victim. ?Okay, so I feel sorry for him. ?But that still doesn’t translate into my wanting to see him succeed at pursuing a purely selfish goal.
Others’ mileage may vary.
That he changes motives may be part of his character arc — but that’s not in the logline.?
And re: ?”Hancock”. ?It ?was High Concept. ?The usual criterion for a High Concept story is that it can be stated in one pitch sentence, preferably 10 words or less. For “Hancock” it’s: ?A man with superhero powers but no supehero virtues.
Nine words.
Is your story High Concept? ? Can you pitch it in one pithy sentence?
(And BTW: ?Vince Gilligan also did a polish, got a co-writing credit on “Hancock”. )
See lessA street stupid teen struggles to sell methamphetamine looted from a crimescene to fund his dream of making it big in Hollywood, as he’s pursued by a psychopath cop.
One problem I have with the logline is that there doesn't seem to be any reason to root for the character to succeed. ?Just because the cop is "psychotic" doesn't make the young man?a sympathetic ?character. ?Why should I want him to make to Hollyweird, let alone make it in Hollyweird?For that matteRead more
One problem I have with the logline is that there doesn’t seem to be any reason to root for the character to succeed. ?
Just because the cop is “psychotic” doesn’t make the young man?a sympathetic ?character. ?Why should I want him to make to Hollyweird, let alone make it in Hollyweird?
For that matter, why do you want him to succeed? ?What’s the emotional hook in the story for you?
(And it’s more correct to describe the cop as a psychopath. ?A true psychotic can’t function as a cop — or in any other job. ?He wouldn’t have the mental clarity to pursue a cockroach, let alone a criminal.)
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