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A Talent Agency for Dogs struggles to find a dog for an important German beer commercial.
I like the concept. ?I think it?has a lot of potential for comedy. ?But as others have noted it, the logline needs a main character.And it needs stakes. ? What does the main character stand to gain if she succeeds, lose if she fails? ?Maybe ?it's a startup advertising company running out of its stakRead more
I like the concept. ?I think it?has a lot of potential for comedy. ?But as others have noted it, the logline needs a main character.
And it needs stakes. ? What does the main character stand to gain if she succeeds, lose if she fails? ?Maybe ?it’s a startup advertising company running out of its stake, its venture capital. ?The stakes could be that if can’t ?cast the right dog, the owner will go bankrupt, lose every penny she’s sunk into her venture. ?Either the owner/manager casts the right dog — or the business goes to the dogs.?Or else it could be an established firm on the verge of going bankrupt. ?And it’s all up to the main character to find the right dog, ?keep the account, save the business.
Whatever, the premise would be strengthened by urgent stakes.
See lessA troubled young man converts to Islam to please his Muslim girlfriend, gets set up by a psychopathic terrorist in a train bomb attack, he must evacuate his frantic landsmen before a ticking time-bomb kills them.
When a naive young man who converted to Islam for a girl's love realizes he is being used as the fall?guy in a terrorist conspiracy, he has 30 minutes to thwart the plot. (34 words) (One thing that is still unclear to me is whether the girl is a co-conspirator. ?Does she know she's being used to baiRead more
When a naive young man who converted to Islam for a girl’s love realizes he is being used as the fall?guy in a terrorist conspiracy, he has 30 minutes to thwart the plot.
(34 words)
(One thing that is still unclear to me is whether the girl is a co-conspirator. ?Does she know she’s being used to bait him into the conspiracy? ?Is that her intention in persuading him to convert?)
See lessA troubled young man converts to Islam to please his Muslim girlfriend, gets set up by a psychopathic terrorist in a train bomb attack, he must evacuate his frantic landsmen before a ticking time-bomb kills them.
>>A naive young man converts to Islam for the love of a girl, winds up in the middle of a terror plot against his country.Getting better, but it still describes more of a situation-- and a good one-- than a plot. And it frames him as more the victim of his folly than the agent of his redemptioRead more
>>A naive young man converts to Islam for the love of a girl, winds up in the middle of a terror plot against his country.
Getting better, but it still describes more of a situation– and a good one– than a plot. And it frames him as more the victim of his folly than the agent of his redemption. The plot is what he must do when he realizes his folly, that he’s been used. So maybe:
When a naive young man converts to Islam for the love of a girl only to discover he’s being used in a terrorist conspiracy, he has 2 hours to thwart their plot.”
(32 words)
This logline suggests beginning the story in media res — the middle of the conflict. That is, hit the floor running with dramatic tension, with conflict, with an opening scene where he is already frantically trying to find out where the bomb has been planted. ?Then, perhaps, interweave with backflashes explaining how this crisis arose, how he got himself into his dramatic predicament.
A tough writing challenge, but when done well, it makes for a more engrossing script and ?movie. An excellent example is “Michael Clayton”. It ?opens ?with a tense opening teaser that builds to a “WTF!” car explosion on page 16, then flashes back to the beginning, to show how Michael Clayton got himself in such a predicament. ?You can download a pdf of the script here. ?Well worth studying, imho. And viewing , if you haven’t already.
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