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After rescuing a baby found outside of her family’s cabin,? an apathetic teen must shelter him from the approaching blizzard and fend off relentless attacks from his monstrous, “Parent,” until the storm passes.
I am unapathetic about the use of the term "apathetic".I suggest that in a logline when a character is tagged with a character flaw, it should be a flaw that will handicap his ability to succeed, that should plague him until at least the 3rd Act.So taking this logline at face value, the kid is goingRead more
I am unapathetic about the use of the term “apathetic”.
I suggest that in a logline when a character is tagged with a character flaw, it should be a flaw that will handicap his ability to succeed, that should plague him until at least the 3rd Act.
So taking this logline at face value, the kid is going to rescue a baby — but remain apathetic, “whatever man”. There’s an approaching blizzard — but he? so what? He remains apathetic about it.? He must fend off numerous attacks from some kind of monstrous “parent” — but, hey, he’s not just cool and calm about the attacks, he doesn’t give a damn, he remains apathetic.
That just doesn’t isn’t credible and I’m guessing that isn’t your intention.? But I can’t read your mind; I can only read the words in the logline.
I suggest tagging him with a character flaw that will handicap him up until at least the 3rd Act.? A flaw that he must come to realize and overcome in order to prevail.? Not a transient flaw that will evaporate as soon as the plot kicks into 2nd gear.
Take Rick in “Casablanca”.? In Act 1 he declares the doesn’t stick his neck out for anyone. Does he drop that attitude as soon as Elsa appears in his gin joint toward the end of Act 1?? Begin to stick his neck out for others or for a great cause?
No.?
He digs in, refuses to help her and her husband get the letters of transit they need to flee the Nazis.? He doesn’t stick his neck out until the 3rd Act.
fwiw
See lessWhen an avid lens collector takes a photo with a mysterious camera, he is captured in a murder he can only hope to escape.
As Richiev said.? And instead of "avid lens collector" why not just say avid camera collector?>>>Is it better to be straight to the point instead of leaving a logline open ended?A logline should never give away the ending, but it should clearly indicate where the plot is going as defined byRead more
As Richiev said.? And instead of “avid lens collector” why not just say avid camera collector?
>>>Is it better to be straight to the point instead of leaving a logline open ended?
A logline should never give away the ending, but it should clearly indicate where the plot is going as defined by the protagonist’s objective goal motivated by the inciting incident.
A pair of young lovers from rival lobster fishing gangs in Maine must unite their communities in order to defend their territories against the encroaching Canadian lobster mafia.
Beck:If I understand you rightly what is "inciting" the conflict now is warming ocean waters.? That should certainly factor into the story.? However, if the lobsters are migrating northward because of warming waters, then shouldn't the dramatic problem be American lobster men poaching in Canadian waRead more
Beck:
If I understand you rightly what is “inciting” the conflict now is warming ocean waters.? That should certainly factor into the story.? However, if the lobsters are migrating northward because of warming waters, then shouldn’t the dramatic problem be American lobster men poaching in Canadian waters and areas in international waters traditionally claimed and worked by Canadians??? IOW: who really are the designated “bad guys” in this scenario?? If the Canadians are, then what is motivating them to come south?? Seems like? the Americans wold be the group more negatively impacted by warming waters.
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