1. Posted: January 8, 2020In:

    Introverted twins move to a new town where they endure (racially motivated) harassment; one finally decided to fight back.

    dpg Singularity

    (No need for parentheses.) Specifically how do they intend to fight back?? What's their game plan, their m.o.?? What is their ultimate objective goal? What's the story hook?? What is fresh and new, what sets this apart from all the other movie plots about people avenging an injury or injustice?

    (No need for parentheses.)

    Specifically how do they intend to fight back?? What’s their game plan, their m.o.?? What is their ultimate objective goal?

    What’s the story hook?? What is fresh and new, what sets this apart from all the other movie plots about people avenging an injury or injustice?

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  2. Posted: January 3, 2020In:

    When a man wakes up in an unfamiliar bar with no memories, he is compelled to solve the mystery and reconsider his own relationship with death.

    dpg Singularity

    >>>Consider his relationship with? death?Vague, needs clarity. Specifically, what does that mean in terms of what he must do?And a plot is organized around one prime objective goal.? Not two.? Just one.? A logline is about the struggle to achieve that one goal. All other goals are secondaryRead more

    >>>Consider his relationship with? death?

    Vague, needs clarity. Specifically, what does that mean in terms of what he must do?

    And a plot is organized around one prime objective goal.? Not two.? Just one.? A logline is about the struggle to achieve that one goal. All other goals are secondary and subordinate to the prime goal — and extraneous to a loglne.

    So what is his singular primary goal: solve the mystery or “consider his relationship with death” (whatever that means)?

    ?

    And does this refer to a movie already made?? Because that’s what? “examples” are for.

    ?

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  3. Posted: January 8, 2020In:

    A pair of young lovers from rival lobster fishing gangs in Maine must unite their communities in order to defend their territories against the encroaching Canadian lobster mafia.

    dpg Singularity

    Interesting subject matter.? And different -- which is what movie producers are always looking for.I am aware that the lobster men (and women) organize in rival families.? But for the purpose of the logline and plot,? the "Romeo & Juliet" element? is only relevant if? the relationship entails moRead more

    Interesting subject matter.? And different — which is what movie producers are always looking for.

    I am aware that the lobster men (and women) organize in rival families.? But for the purpose of the logline and plot,? the “Romeo & Juliet” element? is only relevant if? the relationship entails mortal jeopardy to the main characters. Like the star-crossed affair did in Shakespeare’s play because of the feuding families in Verona.??? What’s the worse? thing that could happen to the lovers when? — not if — their love affair becomes public knowledge?

    In any event, the plot is not about love — it’s about lobsters.? That’s the “A” story.? The love relationship is the “B” story.? Loglines are about the “A” story, not the “B” story. ? So I suggest that the logline should focus on the lobster war.? A question I have is that since the American lobster folk are keenly aware of the existential threat the Canadian mafia poses, what stands in the way of their organizing to save their jobs and their way of life?? What must they do not just? to”defend their territories” but to win the war?

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