1. Posted: March 8, 2016In:

    After receiving his late mother?s camera, the outcast son wants to become a photographer, but once his older brother, the glorified heir, dies, the manipulative grandfather resorts to blackmail to force his own grandson to take over the farm.

    dpg Singularity

    As Wayne said.? Why blackmail?The whole blackmail gimmick doesn't work for me.? As a born and bred country boy, I?could get?enthusiastic about? the logline if it ?exhibited a more sympathetic understanding? and appreciation of rural culture and values, what?really?motivates rural folk to cultivate tRead more

    As Wayne said.? Why blackmail?

    The whole blackmail gimmick doesn’t work for me.? As a born and bred country boy, I?could get?enthusiastic about? the logline if it ?exhibited a more sympathetic understanding? and appreciation of rural culture and values, what?really?motivates rural folk to cultivate their land and?dream of passing it down from?one generation to the next.

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  2. Posted: March 6, 2016In:

    When intruders break into her home, the ghost of a paraplegic must save her unsuspecting husband from the intruders’ sinister plan that involves planting venomous snakes in the husband’s closet.

    dpg Singularity

    Per FFF: >>>And no idea of what kind of interactions a ghost can have with the intruders. Neither do I. If the ghost has any capacity to? interact with the material world, why doesn't she?deal with the snakes herself?? Or the intruders?? End of problem. If she doesn't have the capacity, theRead more

    Per FFF:
    >>>And no idea of what kind of interactions a ghost can have with the intruders.

    Neither do I. If the ghost has any capacity to? interact with the material world, why doesn’t she?deal with the snakes herself?? Or the intruders?? End of problem.

    If she doesn’t have the capacity, then how can she possibly save her husband?

    What are the rules of engagement?

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  3. Posted: March 6, 2016In:

    .

    dpg Singularity

    My first reaction is that?"alter reality"?seems to be ?such a god-like power I don't see how any foe could pose a serious threat to her.? This is a? story with a protagonist and no antagonist, no matter how "otherworldly", who can beat her.The odds are ever in her?favor.? There's nothing to worry abRead more

    My first reaction is that?”alter reality”?seems to be ?such a god-like power I don’t see how any foe could pose a serious threat to her.? This is a? story with a protagonist and no antagonist, no matter how “otherworldly”, who can beat her.

    The odds are ever in her?favor.? There’s nothing to worry about.

    On the other foot, if the “otherworldly foe”? can take her down, than what’s his game winning?move, its super-godly power,??that could defeat her?

    I think the “alter reality” needs to be clarified.? If she can alter reality why can’t she just close her eyes, click her heels 3 times — or however it works –?and make the crooked, obstacle strewn?path to finding her father — for mere mortals like me — a straight and?clear freeway on which she can travel?in the fast lane to her objective goal?

    Also the premises poses a foe who seems out to destroy for no particular reason.? IOW:? what’s the cause-and-effect relationship between her powers and the foe’s motivation to destroy her just because she wants to find her father?

    And then there’s the matter of “product differentiation”.? I did a search at the top of the web page for “monster” and “creature” two terms similar to the description of an “otherworldly foe”.?? I got 60 hits — 60 loglines with?fictional entities competing with your “otherworldly foe” for attention and? financing as a dramatic antagonist.?

    Granted, some of them are multiple versions, polishes?of the same logline premise.? Even so,? what’s your product differentiation? What makes your “otherworldly foe” unique, different from all the others?

    fwiw

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