1. Posted: February 27, 2016In:

    When an incorruptible young girl finds herself hired by a gang of thugs she faces prison time unless she can cover up or reverse their last crime.

    dpg Singularity

    >>?The Disney Gang?You might want to re-think that title.? The Disney Corp is fiercely protective, notoriously litigious about protecting their brand name.? Other than exploiting the name for commercial purposes, what purpose does it serve?? Which is to say, what is the dramatic purpose of namRead more

    >>?The Disney Gang?

    You might want to re-think that title.? The Disney Corp is fiercely protective, notoriously litigious about protecting their brand name.? Other than exploiting the name for commercial purposes, what purpose does it serve?? Which is to say, what is the dramatic purpose of naming it the “Disney Gang”.? What irreplaceable loss is there to the story by naming the gang something else?

    Loglines are not about “lessons learned”?about ?loyalty, honest, love, or life .? Those lessons?pertain to subjective issues.? Loglines are about objective goals.? Save the “lessons learned” for the script.

    So, as a result of discovering that she hired?herself out to criminals, what must she DO — not learn — but DO.? What becomes her objective goal?

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  2. Posted: February 18, 2016In:

    In a small town in Iowa, a young man?s dreams of becoming a photographer are paused when the heir of the family farm, his older brother, dies unexpectedly provoking his narcissistic grandfather to look to him to continue the legacy before he passes away.

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    I agree with the points that Nir Shelter makes.In particular, it does not seem to me that the young man faces a?real? dilemma.? And?having a protagonist caught between the horns of a?real dilemma is?the method par excellence? for ?creating and sustaining dramatic tension.A dramatic dilemma is not juRead more

    I agree with the points that Nir Shelter makes.

    In particular, it does not seem to me that the young man faces a?real? dilemma.? And?having a protagonist caught between the horns of a?real dilemma is?the method par excellence? for ?creating and sustaining dramatic tension.

    A dramatic dilemma is not just a predicament, it’s a particular kind of predicament.? In an authentic dramatic dilemma, the protagonist??has either 1]?two equally? desirable choices — but he can only have one.; or 2] the reward for success carries a high risk of failure??and a ?countervailing penalty or cost for failure. ?(Countervailing means equal but opposite).??The odds? are overwhelming? not in the?protagonist’s ?favor; obstacles and dangers seem to doom him to failure.? And when he fails he won’t just?be back where he started, he’ll be worse off for?having tried.

    Now then.??It seems?obvious the young man does not?face a dilemma of two equally desirable choices.??He much prefers photography to farming, creative expression for himself ?to maintaining the farm for the sake of the family legacy.? So it’s a no brainer choice; hence, not a dilemma.

    Nor does the logline implicitly frame?the 2nd kind of dilemma.??Certainly, as Nir Shelter indicated, the odds of? commercial success are against him.? This risk factor is necessary for?creating dramatic tension but it is not sufficient.? It’s only ?one part to a dilemma,?a ?countervailing factor.?

    The other necessary?part of the 2nd kind of dilemma is the price to be paid for trying and failing. ?What will it cost him to even try?? What does he stand to lose if he fails?? (Losing his ?relationship with his grandfather does not seem to be a “?cost?of business”, the price he must pay for pursuing his dream instead of his grandfather’s. On the contrary it would seem to be a?benefit, a big bonus.)

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  3. Posted: February 15, 2016In:

    A single career woman takes in her distant relative, a child Holocaust survivor, in post- war Sydney. As each others’ only family left alive, they must form a new life together but secrets and long-buried betrayals threaten to finish the work the Nazis started.

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    The?seems to be a story about??ghosts from the past haunting the present and?threatening ?the future.? It implies to me a lot of flashbacks? - how else to bring the ghosts from the past into the present? The first hurdle this concept has to clear in my mind?is the one created by the? myriad -- dareRead more

    The?seems to be a story about??ghosts from the past haunting the present and?threatening ?the future.? It implies to me a lot of flashbacks? – how else to bring the ghosts from the past into the present?

    The first hurdle this concept has to clear in my mind?is the one created by the? myriad — dare I say glut — of?Holocaust stories already made into movies.?? Most of which are based on real?people, real events.? Is this one based on real events, real people?? ?Truth is stranger than fiction and some Holocaust stories would never been made it no?as movies if they?weren’t based on actual historical events.? Like “Schindler’s List” — you can’t make up a fictional ?story like that up.? And if you could, who would believe it, want to make it into a movie?

    So is it based on true events, real characters?? And what does this story have to say about the consequences of the Holocaust that hasn’t already been said in all the other Holocaust based films?? I just don’t see a unique story hook, here, a detail or twist that grabs my interest that suggests a new, a fresh, a?unique take on the Holocaust. (Others’ mileage may vary.)

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