1. Posted: November 8, 2015In:

    An ambitious woman takes over her uncle?s struggling restaurant, determined to bring the business back to life. When the staff that don?t meet Wendy?s standards begin to disappear, the remaining employees start to question just how dedicated to her job their new manager might be. You?d better hope you?re on next week?s roster.

    dpg Singularity

    It's not clear in my mind as to what the plot of this story is.? Are employees not just being terminated--fired--they're being "terminated with extreme prejudice" -- killed?If that is in fact, the premise of the story, then I presume the "ambitious woman" is the culprit, or at least the suspected cuRead more

    It’s not clear in my mind as to what the plot of this story is.? Are employees not just being terminated–fired–they’re being “terminated with extreme prejudice” — killed?

    If that is in fact, the premise of the story, then I presume the “ambitious woman” is the culprit, or at least the suspected culprit, ergo, the antagonist. So who is the good guy or gal — the? protagonist?? Who must solve the mystery, stop the murders?

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  2. Posted: November 5, 2015In:

    Small town aspiring singer-turned-nanny struggles to adjust to life in affluent Studio City, CA while pursuing her dreams of success and navigating through a minefield of secrets, fame, and scandal.

    dpg Singularity

    There are bushels of scripts written every year about struggling wannabes in (or near) Tinseltown who are "pursuing dreams of success and navigating through the minefield of secrets, fame and scandal."? What is there unique and new? about this story that will make this script stand out from all theRead more

    There are bushels of scripts written every year about struggling wannabes in (or near) Tinseltown who are “pursuing dreams of success and navigating through the minefield of secrets, fame and scandal.”? What is there unique and new? about this story that will make this script stand out from all the others? wannabe screenwriters are navigating the minefield of secrets, fame and scandal to get read and produced?

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  3. Posted: November 5, 2015In:

    Unable to become a police officer because of a past felony conviction, a man finds his own way as a maverick bounty hunter to fight for the justice he never got. When he and his partner receive their next assignment, they go undercover in a town full of criminals and struggle to stay covert while in pursuit of their target.

    dpg Singularity

    >>>Unable to become a police officer because of a past felony conviction, a man finds his own way as a maverick bounty hunter to fight for the justice he never got.All of that is either backstory which means it's (mostly) off screen.? But a logline is about what is shown on screen. ? Or, alRead more

    >>>Unable to become a police officer because of a past felony conviction, a man finds his own way as a maverick bounty hunter to fight for the justice he never got.

    All of that is either backstory which means it’s (mostly) off screen.? But a logline is about what is shown on screen. ? Or, alternatively, all of that is part of the setup which means it occurs in the first act.

    So the story — what the logline should focus on — seems to begin when he goes undercover in a town full of criminals.

    >> while in pursuit of their target

    Who, specifically, are they looking for?? And what are the stakes?? Is he going undercover for the “justice he never got” or for the reward money as a maverick bounty hunter?? And what is the “justice he never got” — what does that mean?

    A protagonist can certainly have an interesting past that motivates his present actions.? But there isn’t enough space in a logline to cram all that in and a logline is about the present, what the protagonist must do now, not what he may have done — or had done to him — in the past.

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