1. Posted: March 29, 2019In:

    As dimensional portals bring refugees from an another earth, a disillusioned border agent encounters his alternate-earth daughter and becomes torn between following orders, or protecting an alternate world from annihilation.

    dpg Singularity

    >>>he must abandon his orders.A logline should be a succinct statement of a protagonist?s objective goal. Objectives goals are proactively struggled for. ?Abandoning orders? is not an objective goal. It?s reactive instead of proactive. What must he DO instead of follow his orders? What?s hiRead more

    >>>he must abandon his orders.
    A logline should be a succinct statement of a protagonist?s objective goal. Objectives goals are proactively struggled for. ?Abandoning orders? is not an objective goal. It?s reactive instead of proactive. What must he DO instead of follow his orders? What?s his game plan to resolve his dramatic dilemma?

    And I don’t see why it’s up to him to save an alternate world. Or why he should want to or need to. His daughter has escaped as a refugee .? What’s the personal stakes for him?

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  2. Posted: March 28, 2019In:

    After an inexplicable resurrection following her ?end-of-life? party, a terminally ill matriarch returns to her grieving family with a primal hunger ? and begs them to kill her before the murderous urge takes control.

    dpg Singularity

    >>a primal hungerFor what?? Cannibalism?? If so, say so.? If not clarify.>>begs them to kill herIf she realizes she's that dangerous to others, why doesn't she just kill herself?The logline frames a narrative only in relation to the dramatic? problem and the problem character, the matriaRead more

    >>a primal hunger
    For what?? Cannibalism?? If so, say so.? If not clarify.

    >>begs them to kill her
    If she realizes she’s that dangerous to others, why doesn’t she just kill herself?

    The logline frames a narrative only in relation to the dramatic? problem and the problem character, the matriarch. There is no designated solution character, no protagonist who must take the lead in solving the dramatic problem.? Check out “Our Formula” for guidelines on writing an industry acceptable guideline.

    And the proper genre for this seems to be horror, not drama.

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  3. Posted: March 26, 2019In:

    Is this a valid log line? Or is it too vague?

    dpg Singularity

    >>>He must untainted his name because he didn?t commit the crimes committed. Okay.? And that should be clear in the logline.? The stakes are personal:? it's more than just the family name; his objective goal is exoneration, to prove his innocence.

    >>>He must untainted his name because he didn?t commit the crimes committed.

    Okay.? And that should be clear in the logline.? The stakes are personal:? it’s more than just the family name; his objective goal is exoneration, to prove his innocence.

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