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Is this a valid log line? Or is it too vague?
Upon 2nd reading, I see that I misconceived the project.My SOP is to read a logline? fast and furious.? For which I don't apologize.? Because that's the way movie makers will read it.? There's a 5-10 second window of opportunity to get their attention and for them to get the story line.? If they areRead more
Upon 2nd reading, I see that I misconceived the project.
My SOP is to read a logline? fast and furious.? For which I don’t apologize.? Because that’s the way movie makers will read it.? There’s a 5-10 second window of opportunity to get their attention and for them to get the story line.? If they aren’t interested, if they don’t understand? they just move on.
I see now that the protagonist of the story is not the recipient but rather the deceased organ donor.? ? I suggest the logline needs to be tweaked to make it clearer.?
But my other questions still pertain.? Why must he clear a tainted past?? Since he’s “dead”, what does he stand to lose — what more can he lose — if he doesn’t
See lessIs this a valid log line? Or is it too vague?
Great inciting incident But I'm unsure about the rest.? ?How will being transmorgified help him "untaint" his past.? What is the taint?? And why MUST he clear his family name NOW?? ?What's at stake?? What's does he stand to lose, what's the worst thing that can happen if he doesn't clear the taint?
Great inciting incident
But I’m unsure about the rest.? ?How will being transmorgified help him “untaint” his past.? What is the taint?? And why MUST he clear his family name NOW?? ?What’s at stake?? What’s does he stand to lose, what’s the worst thing that can happen if he doesn’t clear the taint?
See lessAfter his neighbour criminal gets arrested, a jaded man takes the criminal’s young son to his home and must decide whether he will take him to an orphanage or keep taking care of him. (short film – p.s. my protagonist grew up in orphanage)
>>>making his economic situation real bad.Yes, I can see how that might work.? A possible scenario:Setup: The man has finally scrapped together enough money to avoid eviction that day.? He's done so by going hungry.? He's not only hungry but? hardened by a hard life has inured him to the plRead more
>>>making his economic situation real bad.
Yes, I can see how that might work.? A possible scenario:
Setup: The man has finally scrapped together enough money to avoid eviction that day.? He’s done so by going hungry.? He’s not only hungry but? hardened by a hard life has inured him to the plight of others.? For him, pity , love are luxuries he can’t afford .
Inciting incident: And then who should show up on his doorstep but the boy from next door, now homeless, hungry, shoeles. Maybe he needs some medical care.
Dramatic dilemma: Take care of the kid BUT get evicted. Or pay the rent BUT consign the boy to? an unhappy, loveless life in the orphanage.?
Climax😕 He takes the boy to the? orphanage.? But at the last moment, changes his mind.
Denouement: The man feeds the boy, buys him a pair of shoes. He gets evicted. The man and boy walk away into an uncertain future. But there is one certainty, the boy will have the love and protection of the man, love and protection he never had with his father.
fwiw
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