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A bounty hunter and a renegade race against the power-hungry to find an utopia lost in time.
Why does the wish-granting have to be a utopia?? If it grants wishes, why not choose a prop?? Like a magic lamp, a magic well or spring or sword or ring or precious stone.? It could be hidden away in a remote, hard to reach location, of course.??The problem with "utopia" is that no particular visualRead more
Why does the wish-granting have to be a utopia?? If it grants wishes, why not choose a prop?? Like a magic lamp, a magic well or spring or sword or ring or precious stone.? It could be hidden away in a remote, hard to reach location, of course.??
The problem with “utopia” is that no particular visual comes to mind.? Film is a visual medium.? And every critical element of a logline should evoke an image.? It doesn’t have to be exactly the visual you have in mind but it should evoke an image in the mind’s eye of the reader to grab and hold their attention.? ?So what’s the visual on the objective goal of “utopia”?
No image comes to my mind.
And until your last comment, I had no clue to indicate that this utopia grants wishes,? Yet it’s the defining characteristic of the place; it’s the reason everyone wants to find it.? It’s the organizing conceit of your whole story.
fwiw
See lessA bounty hunter and a renegade race against the power-hungry to find an utopia lost in time.
If you do meld the two characters into one, why not cast the bounty hunter as a woman?
If you do meld the two characters into one, why not cast the bounty hunter as a woman?
See lessAfter getting an unusual feedback in his survey, an editor in chief gets involved with the underground network of renegade AI
As Richiev said.? And the inciting incident seems rather weak, vague.? What is so unusual about "unusual" that upends his status quo and motivates him to pursue his objective goal? And what's at stake?? What does the protagonist stand to gain is he succeeds, or lose if he fails?
As Richiev said.? And the inciting incident seems rather weak, vague.? What is so unusual about “unusual” that upends his status quo and motivates him to pursue his objective goal?
And what’s at stake?? What does the protagonist stand to gain is he succeeds, or lose if he fails?
See less