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A mother to two clone children plans for more clone children, but she must make the world a place where they can survive, so she unleashes her ability to kill using only her brain, founding a world of potent and fertile.
As foxtrot25 said: >>>>With film, you need to focus it down to laser or cherrypick from the 3 act structure.Yep, then prune down the cherries to the one with the core hook and unifying plot line for a logline the pilot episode.No doubt, a hard task for such a complex and extended story lRead more
As foxtrot25 said:
>>>>With film, you need to focus it down to laser or cherrypick from the 3 act structure.
Yep, then prune down the cherries to the one with the core hook and unifying plot line for a logline the pilot episode.
No doubt, a hard task for such a complex and extended story line as the one you conceive.? But that’s what it takes to get your script read.? And only you can do the pruning because only you know your story.? We can only evaluate and suggest tweaks to the logline.
See lessA mother to two clone children plans for more clone children, but she must make the world a place where they can survive, so she unleashes her ability to kill using only her brain, founding a world of potent and fertile.
As the others have said.? And the logline gives her such god-like powers, what is there to worry about?? Where's the suspense?Which is to say, who is her antagonist?? Who is capable to defeating her?? That is very important.? She needs a worthy adversary -- somebody who poses a credible threat to heRead more
As the others have said.? And the logline gives her such god-like powers, what is there to worry about?? Where’s the suspense?
Which is to say, who is her antagonist?? Who is capable to defeating her?? That is very important.? She needs a worthy adversary — somebody who poses a credible threat to her objective goal?
Who wants to defeat her?? (In the original “Star Wars” episode , Luke Skywalker has a very real threat,? a very powerful nemesis in the character of Darth Vader.? And Mr. Vader is very, very motivated: he MUST defeat Luke.)
See lessAn engineer of peace have to lead war against the machines when the established, human safe heaven on mars gets threatened by the past.
Foxtrot25's version is an interesting one.? But because of the wording, some of it grammatical, I'm not sure his version incorporates the story you want to tell.What's the difference between an "engineer of peace" and a peace activist?? And how does a war against machines correlate with a threat froRead more
Foxtrot25’s version is an interesting one.? But because of the wording, some of it grammatical, I’m not sure his version incorporates the story you want to tell.
What’s the difference between an “engineer of peace” and a peace activist?? And how does a war against machines correlate with a threat from the past?? What’s is the conflict really about?? What?is really at stake here?
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