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  1. Posted: May 18, 2016In: Comedy

    A young Midwestern Congressman must travel across the country with his rival for the White House, a veteran East Coast Senator, in the ultimate road trip reality show.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 19, 2016 at 10:56 pm

    I presume they would be sharing the same campaign bus. ?The question (inciting incident, again) is WHY must they share the same bus? ?(And why a bus instead of a plane?)?Midwestern Congressman versus East Coast Senator doesn't suggest much potential for comedic conflict. ?Given the polarized natureRead more

    I presume they would be sharing the same campaign bus. ?The question (inciting incident, again) is WHY must they share the same bus? ?(And why a bus instead of a plane?)?

    Midwestern Congressman versus East Coast Senator doesn’t suggest much potential for comedic conflict. ?Given the polarized nature of US politics these days, it might be better to match them up on the basis of political ideologies ?rather than regional differences. ?Like one’s an unapologetic Socialist, the other is a unreconstructed Libertarian.

    fwiw

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  2. Posted: May 18, 2016In: SciFi

    A military astronaut test flying a secret craft becomes stranded in a parallel world where the U.S. is a third world country ruled by a brutal dictator.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 19, 2016 at 1:29 am

    Does the dictator's last name, perchance, begin with a "T"? :-)The hook that spawned the franchise out of the original "Planet of the Apes" ?was ?role reversal, a world where apes ruled and humans were treated like, well, animals. ?In the origin movie (1968), the protagonist's goal is to escape captRead more

    Does the dictator’s last name, perchance, begin with a “T”? 🙂

    The hook that spawned the franchise out of the original “Planet of the Apes” ?was ?role reversal, a world where apes ruled and humans were treated like, well, animals. ?In the origin movie (1968), the protagonist’s goal is to escape capture and find out how in the world the relationship between apes and humans came to be reversed.

    The hook in this logline seems to be that the United States (and presumably the rest of the world) exists in 2 parallel and polarized universes. ?In one, the US is the top dog, a 1st world, democratic country. ?In the the other, the US is a slumdog country, a 3rd world dictatorship. ?I think this could work depending on the dramatic relationship between the two. ? Is the slumdog country what the top dog is in dangers of becoming? ?Is the top dog country what the slumdog country has the potential to become? ?Or…?

    Whatever it is need not be revealed up front, wouldn’t be in the logline. ?But have it in reserve for the pitch. ?Hollywood suits are going to want to know what is the thematic idea that yokes these diametrically opposite world’s together, the big “because” that can sustain a long term narrative.

    But what should be in the logline is what the astronaut must do when he finds himself in the slumdog world. ?What is his objective goal? ?I think the series would benefit by being framed with an overarching objective goal for the protagonist, a dramatic thread that ties together and drives the narrative.

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: May 18, 2016In: Examples

    A simple-minded, kindhearted man enjoys a life of accidental success and fame when all he wants is to love the beautiful woman he has known since they were kids.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 19, 2016 at 12:56 am

    But I don't think he has a particular ambition to become an adult. ?He ages physically, of course , but not mentally, nor emotionally. ? ?The world changes around him -- but he doesn't. ?His character is constant; he is always a naive, kindhearted person who is always in love with Jenny. It seems toRead more

    But I don’t think he has a particular ambition to become an adult. ?He ages physically, of course , but not mentally, nor emotionally. ? ?The world changes around him — but he doesn’t. ?His character is constant; he is always a naive, kindhearted person who is always in love with Jenny.

    It seems to me the story works anyway because Forrest’s lack of an objective goal is not accidental, not a failure of imagination or a failure to understand dramatic essentials. ?His lack of an objective goal is intentional and it takes a skilled writer to make that dramatic choice work. ?And Eric Roth, who scripted the story for the screen, is one of the best; he won the Oscar for his adaptation.

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