1. Posted: May 18, 2016In:

    A young Midwestern Congressman must travel across the country with his rival for the White House, a veteran East Coast Senator, in the ultimate road trip reality show.

    dpg Singularity

    The conflict arises in that they are campaigning against each other for the same office.I like the concept but ?at this ?point my buy in is only 50%. ?What I think the concept needs is a good inciting incident for WHY they must campaign together. ?Figure that out and I think you have a winner.(And pRead more

    The conflict arises in that they are campaigning against each other for the same office.

    I like the concept but ?at this ?point my buy in is only 50%. ?What I think the concept needs is a good inciting incident for WHY they must campaign together. ?Figure that out and I think you have a winner.

    (And please, please, please don’t make both of them men. ?That is is so old fashioned and predictable. ?Join the 21st Century — and add more possibilities for conflict and comedy –?by making at least one of them a woman. ?Or make both of them women. Or one a woman, and one a transgender…. just not both of them as men.)

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  2. Posted: May 18, 2016In:

    A simple-minded, kindhearted man enjoys a life of accidental success and fame when all he wants is to love the beautiful woman he has known since they were kids.

    dpg Singularity

    This is a tough one to fit into the formula of a standard logline. ?Forrest Gump has no specific objective goal in terms of anything he wants to accomplish or acquire. ? He just wants to love his childhood friend. ?And therein seems to be the ironical hook: ?he achieves quite a lot, but it's all, unRead more

    This is a tough one to fit into the formula of a standard logline. ?

    Forrest Gump has no specific objective goal in terms of anything he wants to accomplish or acquire. ? He just wants to love his childhood friend. ?And therein seems to be the ironical hook: ?he achieves quite a lot, but it’s all, unintentional, accidental. ?Meanwhile, the one thing he intentionally wants more than anything else, the love of Jenny, he can’t have, can’t win — until the 3rd Act.

    Which may have been one reason the project languished in turnaround for years after the movie rights for the book were bought. ?The Hollywood suits who greenlight production didn’t seem to know what to make of the story, how it could be make into a marketable movie.

    “Stupid is as stupid does” is one of his mother’s sayings — and the movie’s conceit: ?In a world where people do one stupid thing after another, ?Forrest thrives and redeems the lives of others (like Lieutenant Dan) by playing the wise fool.

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  3. Posted: May 18, 2016In:

    A military astronaut test flying a secret craft becomes stranded in a parallel world where the U.S. is a third world country ruled by a brutal dictator.

    dpg Singularity

    Here's the meta-problem I see with the the concept itself, let alone the logline: ?it's juggling w-a-y too many balls for an audience to keep track of: 1] Reverse engineered alien spacecraft... 2] Parallel worlds... 3]US as a 3rd world country... 4]Ruled by a brutal dictator... 5] A Big Twist/RevealRead more

    Here’s the meta-problem I see with the the concept itself, let alone the logline: ?it’s juggling w-a-y too many balls for an audience to keep track of:
    1] Reverse engineered alien spacecraft…
    2] Parallel worlds…
    3]US as a 3rd world country…
    4]Ruled by a brutal dictator…
    5] A Big Twist/Reveal: his wife dead in one world lives in the other.

    I don’t see how you can do dramatic justice to all these story elements in one feature film. ?It ?seems to me it would take a series, or a franchise to develop and play them all out. ?And if that is your objective goal, fine, but just focus on the “origin story” that kick starts the entire series or franchise.

    If your objective goal is to write one feature film, then you gotta simplify, simplify, simplify the logline. ?And I don’t know where to advise trimming because I don’t know what you consider to be?the organizing idea,?the overarching theme that ties?all these diverse elements together into a coherent, dramatic whole.

    Except to suggest that if you haven’t done so already, read the guidelines for writing an industry standard logline under “Training” at the top of the web page. ?Strip your story down to short answers to the basic questions listed.

    fwiw

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