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A military astronaut test flying a secret craft becomes stranded in a parallel world where the U.S. is a third world country ruled by a brutal dictator.
The logline sets up an interesting situation -- but, alas, it does not describe a plot. And the purpose of a logline is to (succinctly) describe a plot.?A plot would arise out of ?the action the astronaut takes, what he must do, after he finds himself stranded in the parallel world.So, what must theRead more
The logline sets up an interesting situation — but, alas, it does not describe a plot. And the purpose of a logline is to (succinctly) describe a plot.?A plot would arise out of ?the action the astronaut takes, what he must do, after he finds himself stranded in the parallel world.
So, what must the astronaut do about the situation he finds himself in? ?What action does he take that constitutes his objective goal? ?And why must he do it — what is at stake?
See lessTo escape physiological torture, a teenager who got ?rescued? from his abusive mother, rallies the other students at his new school against the torturer, the headmistress, by deliberately bending and stretching the rules.
My major concern about the logline is the credibility of the situation:Students are being physically abused -- tortured -- by the headmistress -- but they aren't complaining about it to their parents? ?Not one of them? They aren't showing them the proof, the welts and bruises (or worse)?Or they areRead more
My major concern about the logline is the credibility of the situation:
Students are being physically abused — tortured — by the headmistress — but they aren’t complaining about it to their parents? ?Not one of them? They aren’t showing them the proof, the welts and bruises (or worse)?
Or they are complaining, but their parents — all of them — are utterly indifferent? ?Every last parent refuses to believe their children? ?Every last one refuses to believe the evidence of the bruises and welts? ?Every last parent refuses to rally to the rescue of their own children and have the headmistress fired and arrested?
If the story is set (more or less) in the present in a modern country (like in North America, Western Europe, Australia, ?or New Zealand) I for one, ?am not able to buy into the situation.
fwiw
See lessAfter being raped by her uncle when she was younger, a pastor’s daughter plots and carries out different ways of destroying her uncles family with coincidental mishaps causing their deaths over the years.
The protagonist is a tough sell. ?She's not a sympathetic character because her revenge is disproportionate and indiscriminate in relation to what she suffered. She kills innocent people who had nothing to do with her uncle's crime.
The protagonist is a tough sell. ?She’s not a sympathetic character because her revenge is disproportionate and indiscriminate in relation to what she suffered. She kills innocent people who had nothing to do with her uncle’s crime.
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