1. Posted: May 8, 2016In:

    A woman cop uncovers scary evidence of an old murder and battles long-imbedded terrors to catch the serial killer before she becomes the next victim.

    dpg Singularity

    A female cop must stop a serial killer before she becomes his next victim. (14 words)The details in the original logline are for the story proper but not necessary for a logline.?For a twist:A female cop?must stop a serial killer who only preys on female cops before she become his next victim.(20 woRead more

    A female cop must stop a serial killer before she becomes his next victim.
    (14 words)
    The details in the original logline are for the story proper but not necessary for a logline.?

    For a twist:
    A female cop?must stop a serial killer who only preys on female cops before she become his next victim.
    (20 words)

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  2. Posted: May 7, 2016In:

    When a pawn store robbery turns deadly, a Hollywood stunt driver finds himself in possession of the loot, and must destroy the violent goons who want it back. [Drive, 2011]

    dpg Singularity

    Or: When a Hollywood stunt driver finds himself in possession of the loot after a deadly robbery, he must?defeat the violent goons who want it back. (26 words versus 28) I substituted defeat for destroy. ?Destroy = kill and if that is what he must do to every goon, then I think "kill" is the approprRead more

    Or:

    When a Hollywood stunt driver finds himself in possession of the loot after a deadly robbery, he must?defeat the violent goons who want it back.
    (26 words versus 28)

    I substituted defeat for destroy. ?Destroy = kill and if that is what he must do to every goon, then I think “kill” is the appropriate word– it’s a matter of life and death for him and the goons. ?I don’t recall enough details of the flick to know that he had to kill all of them. ?But he certainly had to defeat them, by whatever means it took.

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  3. Posted: May 7, 2016In:

    After an escaped convict forces a divorced mother to hide him, they fall in love and must flee to Canada to start a new life.

    dpg Singularity

    It's ?a love story and the objective goal arises as a consequence of their falling in love. ?So is that the inciting incident? ? Or is the inciting incident his forcing her to hide him?When he forces her to hide him, he only intends to remain until dark and then get out of town. ? That's his end ofRead more

    It’s ?a love story and the objective goal arises as a consequence of their falling in love. ?So is that the inciting incident? ? Or is the inciting incident his forcing her to hide him?

    When he forces her to hide him, he only intends to remain until dark and then get out of town. ? That’s his end of Act 1 objective goal. ?(Flee to where, ultimately, is left unsaid and is unessential at that point in the story. His urgent need is to flee — anywhere)

    ?But because he’s injured, he has to wait. ?Other complications and romance ensue. ?And so ?his objective goal changes. ?(And she acquires one. ?At the start of the story, she’s just drifting aimlessly in a stagnant pool of depression.)

    Here’s how the story breaks out in relation to the logline:

    >>After an escaped convict forces a divorced mother to hide him
    That’s the bulk of Act 1.

    >>they fall in love
    That happens in the 1st half of Act 2

    >>and must flee to Canada to start a new life.
    That happens at the midpoint in Act 2. ?The decision is triggered by a moment that forces the couple to decide and act; he can no longer linger in hiding. ?It?raises the dramatic question: ?will they be able to flee together to Canada to start a new life?

    The rest of Act 2 and Act 3 work out the answer to that question.

    BTW: ?I’ve noticed this breakout in a few other loglines for films. ?The standard paradigm is that the objective goal should be set up by the end of Act 1. ?And that becomes the objective goal statement in the logline.

    But in some films, ?the final objective goal of the film that becomes the?objective goal statement of the logline doesn’t get set up until the midpoint. ?(But no later!)

    fwiw

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